My wife of 37 years and I have always shared a basic love between us. However, both of our fp’s have obviously played their roles and so there have been several occasions of problems between us as to be expected on the basis of Gary’s teachings.

Once in 2010 or so the problem reached its peak. Thanks to Gary and Linda, I was able to recognize the role of fp’s. I sat down with my wife, had a discussion with her, referring to certain important points from their books including the one on spiritual partnership (my wife has never read any of them, but had some ideas as I used to share them now and then with her). On that day we resolved that we both would be spiritual partners of each other. We consider that day to be a day of our being married again.

The most interesting thing is that we could recognize how opportunities kept coming one after the other to help us address the fp’s more and more actively and replace them with lp’s. The Universe was playing its role as always, but we could recognize it more and more.

As time passed by, I started to notice a big change in my wife – her being intimate with me. Gary and Linda say in the beginning of the chapter on Intimacy: Intimacy does not mean a close relationship with another individual, although that can happen when you experience intimacy. Here I mean in both ways – my wife exhibiting such a close relationship with me as well as our intimacy being a measure of the energy leaving our system in love and trust.

In the past I would have never ever assumed that being this intimate was in my wife’s nature at all. So, it is a big surprise to me, but a pleasant one of course. I enjoy it so much that I really wonder whether it would have been so enjoyable but for the past problems that were created by the fp’s. It appears to be something like one should be in the severely hot sun outside in order to be able to enjoy the power of the shade under a big tree. In other words, intimacy requires vulnerability. That is, the fp’s are there for a reason. No need to complain about them. By design, I am vulnerable.

And, very soon on p. 114 itself (in The Heart of the Soul) Gary and Linda say: Vulnerability is dangerous.

Thus, intimacy requires vulnerability, but vulnerability is dangerous. In other words, it is by design that I am vulnerable and I am completely prone to allowing my fp’s become active, but, at the same time, I am expected, again by design, not to yield to them. It is important to make them inactive as quickly as possible during my interactions with everyone so that I can start enjoying intimacy with everyone, of course including my spouse.

I hope I am clear enough. If not, I would be glad to answer questions. This is how I understand Gary and Linda’s use of the term. I could be totally wrong in my analysis. Doug and other spiritual partners, please share your analysis and understanding. If I need to correct mine, I would be glad to do so. Thank you all in advance.

With love and trust,
Sundar

Dear Doug,

You wrote: “I don’t believe I have heard you mention your use of emotions, sensations in your body, or the guidelines in your experiences with discerning loving parts from a frighten part.”

You are indeed correct. The reason is simply the following. As you know, I started this thread because of my confusion regarding the meaning of the term ‘vulnerable’ as used by Gary in different contexts. And, I started the thread with the question: What does the term ‘vulnerable’ mean when Gary says on p. 157 of The Mind of the Soul that the old Chinese man was vulnerable?

Thus, the original intention of this thread is only to intellectually discuss Gary’s concept of vulnerability in order to understand it as well as possible so that the understanding can be applied effectively in life.

But, to my surprise, some spiritual partners felt that some fp might be active in me and in order to support me they lovingly wanted me to check it. Since this occurred repeatedly and it appeared that even an effort to analyze and understand Gary’s teachings was considered as an indication of an active fp, I had to digress to address it, actually after a considerable degree of hesitation on my part. As you know, during this digression I pointed to the importance of BOTH head and heart. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have said anything about ‘head’, namely intellect, either in this thread, let alone ‘heart’, namely emotion.

Given the original intention of the thread, I continued to discuss vulnerability by quoting the different contexts in different books in which the term is used by Gary and Linda. I still like this thread to focus on the discussion of the concept of vulnerability. I haven’t sent my question to Gary and Linda yet. I prefer to first hear the thoughts and comments of spiritual partners like you on this subject. You said: “I hope to respond later to your many posts as there are many points that interest me.” I feel joyful to read this statement of yours. Please do so as and when you find the time, and I am very eager to read your posts. One fundamental idea I have always emphasized in my family (consisting of my wife and two children), is: What is important is not who is right, but what is right. I strongly, strongly believe that Gary’s teachings are right in every way regarding life. I want to understand them correctly, including the concept of vulnerability which, to quote Soula, seems to be rich and complex.

You wrote: “I don’t believe I have heard you mention your use of emotions, sensations in your body, or the guidelines in your experiences with discerning loving parts from a frighten part. I would love to hear about that as I am just beginning to practice with these tools consistently.” I understand. However, this thread might be out of context for that. We can start a different thread either now, or later after a suitable live call happens, and address this there.

Very eager to hear from you and other spiritual partners.

With love and trust,
Sundar

Dear Doug,

You asked: “Do you feel a need to defend yourself?” No, not at all.

You also asked: “Do you think they might see something you don’t?” Definitely. And that is what spiritual partnership is about.

It would have been really nice if Luz, Tim and Patrice had indicated how they saw the existence of an fp in my first post in this thread where I raised a question. I expected them to do it themselves. Maybe that was a mistake on my part. Now I will request them to do so. I don’t know if they still read this thread. In case they do, I would be very appreciative if they point to the specific statement(s) in my first post and explain how it is a possible indication of an fp being active in me.

Especially Patrice who wrote: “What I think I am noticing in your writings is a FPP that wants to understand and get it right, intellectualize rather than feel. Maybe you could challenge the FPP and scan each of your energy centers and feel what is happening in them.” When I read this, the automatic thought I have is: Yes, I do want to understand the correct use of the term vulnerability. What is their to feel about it? As you say, Patrice obviously saw something in my posts I couldn’t see. I would very much appreciate if she explains what she saw.

With love and trust,
Sundar