Dear Sundar,

I have been sitting with your request that spiritual partners explain their “why” they think they are seeing a frightened part of another person. I see value in saying things like, “is it possible you are in a FPP that is judging”, or analyzing, escaping into thoughts (intellectualizing), trying to convince, needing to be right, seeking admiration, teaching, caretaking, blaming, and many more. Where I see the strong likelihood that I might begin to speak from a frightened part of my personality is trying to justify or explain why I feel teaching, analyzing, or intellectualizing come from frightened parts of our personality.

I love to explain things to others, I love public speaking, I pride myself in my ability to connect with my audiences, and I enjoy their praise and admiration after my presentations and I resent when anyone criticizes something I might have said. The key question for me is what is my intention for teaching or for my love of public speaking. Is my intention from love or fear? What I discovered is that most of the time for me it was from a frightened part of my personality that wanted external power, to feel important, to receive gratitude and praise. I was taking from those I was teaching/helping and not giving.

So I am trying to learn all I can about myself through your request because it touches an area for me that has been a deep frighten part of my personality.

I love that the Universe brings meexperiences that are so germane to where I am.

With love,

Doug

Dear Doug,

Thank you so much for your candid sharing. I really appreciate it.

You wrote: “I have been sitting with your request that spiritual partners explain their “why” they think they are seeing a frightened part of another person. I see value in saying things like, “is it possible you are in a FPP that is judging”, or analyzing, escaping into thoughts (intellectualizing), trying to convince, needing to be right, seeking admiration, teaching, caretaking, blaming, and many more. Where I see the strong likelihood that I might begin to speak from a frightened part of my personality is trying to justify or explain why I feel teaching, analyzing, or intellectualizing come from frightened parts of our personality.”

You see the strong likelihood in all those that you have listed. I understand. At the same time, please also notice that there is the other side of the coin to each of those, which is what we are all expected to develop and cultivate.

For example, there is teaching, on the one hand, and sharing, on the other hand. When someone joins this community board and sincerely and genuinely asks “what next?”, I genuinely want to share what little I happen to know about Gary’s teachings without expecting any appreciation or whatever. That is not teaching. But, one spiritual partner looked at it as teaching. Please go back to the thread and read what I told that spiritual partner at the end, for which there has been no response to this point of time. The same spiritual partner had approached it the same way in an earlier thread also.

Do we look at the contributions of Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, Mohammed, etc. and say that they were seeking admiration, they were intellectualizing and escaping into thoughts, there were needing to be right, they were trying to convince, etc.? In other words, are these the only possibilities? Of course, no. They were analyzing, not using a lower level of logic, but using a higher level of logic. In other words, they were using the other side of the coin of analyzing.

Do we think Gary is seeking admiration, is intellectualizing and escaping into thoughts, is needing to be right, is trying to convince, etc.? In other words, are these the only possibilities? Of course, no.

When someone asks the critical question of “what next?” and I respond to it, aren’t the following questions even more important than wondering whether I was teaching, even if my intention was indeed to teach: Did I say the wrong things? Did I mislead that person?

Time and again I have pointed out that one of the lp’s I really think my soul must have brought with me in this lifetime must be sharing. I really wanted to know whether there is any element of teaching that my writing reveals although I actually intend to share. If comments are made without paying any attention to that, are they coming from frightened parts? I really don’t know. It is totally left to the individuals concerned.

As Stephanie correctly observed later, it happened over and over again. However, I decided to let go of everything with my request to the concerned spiritual partner in Shelley’s thread. I was not going to discuss it any further. But, I was really shocked when I read Stephanie’s sharing in another thread. That is when I took it up. I wanted to stand up for her. That is all.

This is not intellectualizing, this is not needing to be right, this is not trying to convince, this is not caretaking, this is not seeking admiration, this is not blaming. This is simply pouring my heart out. It might make sense, it might not. I leave it to you, dear Doug, to conclude whether there is a stronger likelihood for the above ones listed or for their counterparts. That is totally up to you; I have no control over it.

With love and trust,
your spiritual partner
Sundar

Dear Doug,

You wrote: “Dear Sundar,
So I am trying to learn all I can about myself through your request because it touches an area for me that has been a deep frightened part of my personality.
I love that the Universe brings me experiences that are so germane to where I am.”

Given that “I love to explain things to others, I love public speaking, I pride myself in my ability to connect with my audiences”, please share your thoughts during discussions on Gary’s powerful concepts in this community board. Of course, there is no need to expect praise and admiration and there is no need to resent when anyone criticizes something that you might say.

I sincerely hope that you will offer your valuable insights during the ensuing discussions.

With love and trust,
Sundar

Stephanie,

You said: “I also want to say, I don’t think it is appropriate to explain why I think someone is coming from a frightened part, because then I am taking responsibility for their actions/feelings.”

So, according to you, when one explains to another why the former thinks the latter is coming from a frightened part, the former is taking responsibility for the latter’s actions/feelings. I don’t know what kind of responsibility. Even more than that, is not the former taking a responsibility for the latter’s actions/feelings even while pointing out that the latter is coming from a frightened part?

You added: “Gary and Linda seem to teach to ask, then the other person can say yes or no.. right?”

I realize you told me the following: “I think it is important I don’t get caught up in the story of right and wrong in any of this.” So, I assume you are asking whether it is “right” in the sense of higher-order logic rather than in the sense of loving/frightened parts, right?

If so, my response is no. I think that is not right. They specifically said, after I raised the point during a live session, that the former needs to make sure that he or she is not coming from a frightened part while saying that the latter is coming from a frightened part.

I totally agree that the former can always ask whether there is a possibility that the latter is coming from a frightened part, as Doug put it. That is something spiritual partners have to do. When the latter likes to know how and why, the former can offer help. Or, the former should at least have the courtesy of saying something like: ‘I cannot explain, but I feel so. Can you explore further yourself whether that is indeed a possibility?’ My experience on this community board has been that the concerned individuals have simply kept quiet. I am at a loss to understand it.

But, I want to move away from this topic. Let us have fruitful discussions and learn from one another. There is indeed a lot to learn.

With love and trust,
Sundar

Dear Doug,

When I attempt to discern, not to judge but to discern, the incident you have narrated, I notice that an important component is missing – why and how the conversation turned toward Gary’s concepts. I am definitely not asking you to share this information, but it happens to be something essential in order to properly and validly discern what you have shared.

Three years ago around this time three friends of mine and I car-pooled to attend the wedding of another friend’s son. We had to drive about 6 hours each way. It was a time when Ariel Castro’s imprisonment of three ladies at his house in Cleveland was the talk of the town. At one point the conversation in our car turned toward this topic. I listened to the various things my friends shared.

Then I wanted to share some of my views based on Gary’s teachings. I told them I had to first share some background information since I knew none of them had any. I introduced the three spiritual laws formulated by Gary and explained the various concepts involved; explained about my soul deciding, before I was born, to bring certain fp’s and lp’s with me in this lifetime after suitable consultations with my soul group; illustrated the concepts by taking my own examples of fp’s and lp’s; etc.

One friend discussed the parallelism he saw between Gary’s teachings and those in his own religion. I agreed and also pointed out how Gary’s seem to go a couple of levels deeper and answer some critical questions that normally arise in almost everybody.

After introducing the fundamental concepts of Gary’s, I started to express my point of view regarding the topic at hand. I indicated what kind of help Castro might actually need; of course, challenging the fp that seemed to be very strongly active. Our system, legal and political, is not geared toward such analysis and help, but in an ideal world that is what is probably needed. We all discussed this point of view further.

I was thinking I had identified Castro’s fp; it seemed obvious to me. But, during our discussion another friend indicated how it could be a mixture of fp’s, not just one. His contributions made me think a lot. I was very thankful for the deeper insight our discussions gave me.

I don’t remember how many hours, but our discussions in terms of Gary’s teachings lasted quite a long time (we had all that time at our disposal). There was no teaching involved. I was sharing what I knew and then making the necessary connections to the current topic of conversation. In turn my friends contributed their share in a very effective way.

The above is an example of an intellectual discussion on Gary’s concepts. I have also shared them when I find that a friend or a relative seems to need some help to face the specific life problem in the current moment, after they happen to share it with me. I make the necessary connections and offer certain suggestions, but leave the rest completely to them.

I totally agree with you. The fact that his “comment triggered anger, embarrassment, resentment, and pain” in you is probably indicative of a possibility that you felt “he rejected your gift”. You wrote: “I had feelings of animosity towards him and felt separation from him.” I am sure that, with your current focus on and deep involvement in Gary’s teachings, you have turned those feelings of animosity and separation into those of love and intimacy toward him; he helped you recognize your fp’s. I also believe that, given your recognition of your lp, namely the ability to explain and give public speeches, you nowadays share what you know regarding Gary’s teachings with those who might need to know them to face what they need to in their lives, without expecting anything in return from them.

I feel joy to be on this journey with you. We grow together spiritually. Thank you so much for sharing.

With love and trust,
Sundar

Shelley,

What a powerful post!

With love and trust,
Sundar