Thank you for patiently awaiting my response☺ This is deep thinking… or should I say feeling!!

I hope I will answer your main points. I find myself resisting going through answering your message line by line because I think it is important that I not try not to judge right/wrong, but rather develop awareness.

I have been thinking about: Why am I experiencing frustration? Am I responsible for the frustration? Is Frustration from fear?

If I understand that my choices drive my experience, this simplifies the questions for me. Quite often, I have the experience of being “frustrated” at myself or someone (or a group of someones) and just take it at face value that I am frustrated because I let myself down or “they” let me down. By doing that, I am accepting my “story” without exploring further, deeper so yes this choice makes me responsible.

If I can become more consciously aware of my choice (fear/judgment) in the moment, with acceptance, and be curious about how this choice is serving me, then I feel I can start building an internal clarity which will allow me to make a “different” choice and create a different experience. That is when I can respond, not react even if I am frustrated.

I could ask, what was I actually frustrated about? What is really driving this feeling? And what am I really feeling, what is underneath the frustration story? Is my body in pain? Am I happy, sad, mad, or joyful? These are actual true “feelings.” Frustration is an emotional state, not a feeling –which is a “reaction,” to fear and an expression of judgment. So I am not truly feeling but I am reacting/judging so yes, my frustration came from fear. I was frustrated at Doug because I was judging him with thoughts like, “oh, see I knew it! here we go with the frightened parts again that aren’t even there! Boy is he wrong”

So my “story” was I was frustrated with Doug (and others on the board) because I had the judgment that he/they weren’t doing it right.. meaning being a spiritual partner. I didn’t think they were asking the right questions at the right time, not going further or explaining when they should etc.. but that frustration was on a surface level.

So if I do feel deeper into my frustration and see if I can touch the fear, I find (this is a deep fear) that for “me,” doing it “right” means I am loved, doing it “wrong”, I am not loved. (This is complicated but bare with me) my fear extends out to If Doug or others here are not “doing it right”, they won’t be loved either, and THAT scares “ME.” So I then try to control the outcome from fear.

So, my frustration and impatience were various forms of self-judgment that I projected unconsciously…versus choices I could have made from love like patience and compassion. My projection was “they aren’t doing this right”. And then “chirp chirp” “come take care of me”… I realize now was more of “come do this right!” which was a reaction (however slight). From a more loving place it could have been “Let us all take care of ourselves, including you, by participating in good conversations whereby we can learn from one another.”

Additionally, I think it is ok if we see this situation from two different perspectives. I am learning what I need to learn and you what you need to learn but all the while walking the same path.

Much love and many blessings – Steph

I want to respond in more detail later when I have more time but I have two initial thoughts.

I assumed frustration was fear because it made me feel negative things physically and have negative thoughts. I am now unsure, you have a good point that it may not be fear and that changes quite a few of my conclusions if so. What does Gary say on this, do you know?

Also, I have a very big big big part of me that I constantly make myself wrong (usually without realizing). I could be doing this. Also, I try to please people. I could be trying to please Doug by finding a frightened part. Oh my word i’m confused now lol!! I love your example with your daughter. I will respond more later. Thank you Sundar!!

Hi Doug, Shelley and Sundar,
I have been trying to find some time to post the last couple days but the universe has been making me wait so I turn the “chirp chirp” comment back onto myself 🙂 Thank you Sundar for prompting me to watch the Higher Logic of the Heart video.

I just wanted to speak to a couple things. When Doug asked me if my statement could have been from a frightened part I actually had quite a negative response. My feelings were of disappointment, anger, superiority then inferiority. My physical sensations were tightness in my chest, rapid heart beat, a giant lump in my throat. My thoughts were, “oh, see I knew it! here we go with the frightened parts again that aren’t even there! Boy is he wrong. I was NOT coming from a frightened part and then maybe it’s me, maybe I just don’t get this, this is the same trouble Sundar has, something isn’t right here”, and on and on. So I sat with it for a while. Then I asked myself, when I wrote the comment was I creating from love or fear? I actually admit I was not emotionally aware when I wrote it. When I looked back on it I realized I was in a high level of frustration (fear) that I now understand I must take responsibility for. The comment was flippant, but digging down through it and under it I think I was calling out for help (from fear) … I was in a place where I was unsure of myself, making myself wrong, doubting etc.. and my comment was crying out for some help from spiritual partners … “come take care of me”. Caretake me… but that isn’t what spiritual partners do.

I do also have many of the same questions come up, what is next? Can we talk about something other than frightened parts? And I have watched Sundar experience the same thing on this board over and over and I have often marveled at his tenacity with it. I usually resonate with his points and often have thought, “if that were me I may have given up”. But what strikes me is the teaching that the universe will give us the opportunity to learn what we need to learn until we learn it. So I ask myself What is it I am meant to learn? For me, I think it has something to do with controlling the outcome of situations.

I want to say also, I am experiencing so much love for you all right now. THANK YOU for this amazing opportunity to grow my soul. — Bless YOU!

Hi Shelley,
When I read your reply I had some frightened parts of my personality come up. I slipped into judging myself and feeling inferior. I haven’t been a member of this very long and I thought, “Geeze who am I to be answering her questions? Maybe I am wrong..I should let a veteran of this community board do this. Maybe I don’t understand spiritual partnership..” So then I went and watched some of the videos under spiritual partnership and they reminded me not to judge myself of course lol… The one called “Spiritual Partnership Support” is a good one explaining spiritual partnerships. The use of the term is pretty specific as used by Gary and Linda when relating to creating authentic power.

This community board is supposed to be a place where we can get guidance, learn and have some good conversations and be in spiritual partnerships but it has been awfully quiet lately… chirp chirp… Glad you are here!