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Nancy
Posted 11 years ago

so… you’re saying (?): if we all did not have “frightened parts” of our personalities, we would be more loving towards each other. I further assume the work that is done with Gary and Linda is all towards the end of minimizing our Frightened Parts. How are you coming with your quest? Is it a minute by minute struggle? Catherine, does the Language “frightened parts of my personality” help you, more than other phrases you’ve heard over the years? It seems a very non-judgmental phrase. Just wondering how you feel about it’s usefulness, and what concepts it, sorta: replaced.
thanks so much!! Nancy
Nancy
Posted 11 years ago

How wonderful to see this message! I am not real adept at chats and forums and the like, and could not figure out how to contact y’all. So glad you knew, Catherine.
My favorite state is the state of gratitude, as well. It just seems to work. I say thank you, thank you, thank you sooo many times most days. The big things are so outside of my control, I concentrate on the little things. Like having that spider on the bathroom floor leave me alone. Thank you! Seeing a cardinal in the bushes. Wow! Thanks! Having the rice come out perfectly. Nice! The big things would be other people’s personalities. I have terrible boundaries, so when someone else is transmitting discomfort, I tend to feel it. It takes a lot of energy for me to be with others. When I am out of energy, and can no longer be in a place of gratitude, kindness, or love… well, you can image, it probably doesn’t go well. I find myself spiraling downward when in physical pain, as well. Not every moment, thank goodness. Some part of me doesn’t believe I will ever heal, I enter a destructive mindset, and it takes a lot of energy to keep my own spirits up. I go kindof numb around others during these times, worried that if I don’t kindof shut down, I will lash out. Oh, My, how I would like to turn this thinking around!
I am really looking forward to finding some useful strategies from this seminar this summer, and from y’all, as well!
in peace, Nancy
Nancy
Posted 11 years ago

Dear Catherine,
We connected for a few moments today on the phone call. I look forward to opening a discussion with our group online, where we can type our messages that couldn’t be heard today.
How wonderful that I found you on this topic! This is a big issue for members of our family: those who expect certain decorum in a movie theater, and those who are oblivious to how they are perceived. I can be ok with the noise; as soon as another family member who objects is there, tho, I become so uncomfortable with the noisy eater. I feel the noisy person is rude, disrespectful, acting almost out of spite to upset the rest of us. I console myself with the idea that they really just Do Not Know how they are coming across, or how to change. I promise myself to never be like them in this way. Is this fear? It feels more like disgust, a very Un-Loving way to “be.” I look forward to learning how to be with someone exhibiting unpleasant behavior, and still find a way to be in the state of Love. Thank you so much for your openness!!
Nancy
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)