I once asked the facilitator of a four month self-discovery retreat I attended; “What if I discover I am not talented enough to live my passion?” She answered “Do it anyway.” And then she said “If you stay on the achievement highway, you’ll never be enough.”So here is my renewed intention to “loosen my white-knuckled grip on life’s steering wheel”, step off the achievement highway, and pay attention to all that is unresolved in my heart. To live the questions, before living the answers, and to live passionately, even though an fp (or many) may be afraid she is not enough.

Eric, David, Pam,

So much food for thought, I feel I am learning about myself just from witnessing your conversation. Eric, I found Gary’s blog “The Shocking Truth About Compassion” extremely powerful.I am reminded by reading his post that things are not always what they appear to be. An action that appears cruel can actually be a compassionate one.

Do I have the courage to act with an empowered heart without attachment to the outcome? Do I have the courage to refuse to relate to my friend when he has been drinking? Do I have the courage to refuse to interact with him from a place of mutual need? I do. It’s putting this courage into action that is most challenging for me.

It requires that I let go of many things that I have hung onto. It requires that I let go of the need for my friend to be a certain way before I can accept myself (or him). It requires that I let go of trying to find external validation for myself. It requires that I let go of the need to be needed in order to be acceptable, valuable, and loved.

It requires me to be radically compassionate towards myself, and accept that my value does not come from doing for others, but from expressing that which is within me in love.

Love,
Kelley

Sundar,

So, that’s what your head thinks…what does your heart know as truth?

Love,
Kelley

Sundar,

I teach and counsel children at an elementary school, and I wanted you to know that I consciously use the tools and concepts Gary and Linda write about in whatever ways I can in working with these children, and my co-workers. Thank-you for bringing your consciousness to your work with your students, as well.

Love,
Kelley

Dear Sundar,

I am going to quote Gary in a moment, but before I do, I want to suggest that only YOU know what is true for you, no matter what source tells you it’s so (or not so).
From pg. 188 The Mind of the Soul “A temptation is an opportunity for you to choose differently before you create destructive and painful consequences.”
Then from pg. 189 “A temptation is a dress rehearsal for a negative karmic event.”
In other words, (as I see it), it’s not about judging yourself for having “negative” thoughts, or trying to control your thoughts. It’s about observing them and choosing to act from the healthiest part of yourself (love).

Love,
Kelley

It takes courage for you to admit that there is a fp that tells you that without her love you are not lovable. No wonder there is pain associated with her not texting you back. Again, I acknowledge the things you are discovering about yourself.

I used to be sooo frightened that I didn’t even know it- when I was in relationship with my former partner, if he didn’t text me back right away, I would immediately react with anger. I know now a fp had a huge fear of being abandoned (because of being frightened that I was unworthy of love).

I still have many fps today, but one thing that has changed is rather than reacting with anger if he doesn’t text me/call me back right away, I have been able to focus inwards. The first time, I was experiencing a lot of pain in my chest and stomach. After fully feeling it, I did the most loving thing I could, which was have a bath. Then the second time, I noticed I had pain again in my chest, and kept choosing to do the most loving thing, this time it was to cry.

Just the other day, we had planned to talk at a certain time. When he didn’t contact me within a few minutes of our agreed upon time, I trusted that there was a valid reason, (and that it wasn’t because I’m unlovable). Sure enough, within a few minutes, he called to explain that someone had been getting mugged outside his apartment just as he was about to call, and that he had been assisting the victim! He, of course, went back to the gentleman, and when he was done assisting, we had a lovely conversation.

I appreciate hearing about how you have been remaining present with yourself in situations that trigger fps. It is so rewarding to hear about your discoveries, and to share mine.

Kelley

Thank-you for sharing, Jo Ann. I am grateful to be on this journey with you.

Kelley

I am reminded of this prayer.
Lord (Universe, Divine Intelligence, God, Higher Power, ___________)
Make me an instrument of peace.
Where there is hatred, love.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.