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Judy
Posted 10 years ago

Love your answer Gail. I too think that sometimes things can be a Karmic experience and it helps me to give it a bit more space with which to look at it. It also gives me more compassion for the other person, as I sometimes can see..if I have done the same type of thing…what it feels like to the other person.
Judy
Posted 11 years ago

Wendy, your fears sounded just like my fear parts my first year of the Journey. I had never been to anything like that before and my fear parts tried there best to keep me from going. I was scared right up to the minute of it starting. I knew though, that I really wanted to grow in my life, become more authentic within myself. I at times wasn’t even sure exactly what I was wanting I just knew that I wanted things to change…..I knew that what Gary was teaching from his books resonated inside of me, and I wanted to know more. I just took it step by step. It is a very warm and loving environment and I have to say that that first Journey taught me so many tools with which to work with, it was the beginning of true transformation in my life. when we challenge the parts of us that are afraid, and move ahead anyway, there are huge gifts to be had. Blessings to you…..Judy
Judy
Posted 11 years ago

Alot of what Deb had said, was just like it was coming out of my mouth. Alot of the same feelings of feeling overwhelmed and not enough time for me…and none of the things I do, can I stop. Doing things here, just felt like something else to cause pressure.
Recently, someone asked me to do something…and it would require between 5-10 hours a week. At first I was shocked, as that is an enourmous amount of time for me to add things in my life to. All the fear parts came up….but one thing was said that was like an aha moment for me….maybe I should look at why I have set up my life like that…

I could give a ton of reasons why there is just no time, and there really isn’t…but the bigger picture is why am I so busy. That was when the pain hit. I realized that there is so many fear parts that is causing me to make life way too busy for what is good for me. I realized when I sat with it, that I am now almost 66, and still teaching piano, the same as when I was 40. I could say that it’s financial, as that is part of it…but I received my pension this year so could have cut back a bit. I had intended to but didn’t. It’s because of being afraid of transitioning to a new era of my life…being an older person…I feel 30 in my heart…but body says no way!
There was so much pain at moving into the pensioner part of my life, that I just have been in denial about it, by majorly overworking.tons of students, playing for choirs, looking after a rescue dog for someone etc. Then there was also the realization that I move in to this next phase of my life with no family and not much support. I didn’t even realize that I had all that terror about this. I guess I have kept so busy I didn’t have time to feely the pain of lonliness. I had no clue about any of this, until this was mentioned to me. What a gift that was. Even though it is painful, and I my fear parts feel afraid of this next part of my life, I was grateful for the chance of having awareness of this, as maybe next year I can do something to change it. So to that gift given to me, I say thankyou.
Judy
Posted 11 years ago

stretching myself….it was a real stretch for me just being on the call on Saturday. I have been in alot of pain recently, and Saturday is the one morning I can sleep in or try to. But I know me…when I start to shut down on things because of this or that, then it seems to get easier and easier for me to do that. I was so glad that I was able to put the call as more important than my fp on Saturday. I’ve been dealing with becoming older this year, as the chronic pain has gotten overwhelming right now. I started to think, how did I get to 65, and have so very few people in my life. even as I write this, their is alot of pain in my heart and throat as well as tears. Not in feeling sorry for myself, but in feeling sad that I have had so much fear and terror in my heart…of people…that not only was I not able to love very well, but I was unable to recieve love. I also had all my students, and after they left each week, I just closed down. My stretching is about learning to allow myself to love and be loved….Today before I started teaching I went on my usual walk in the forest, and did some meditating, and just really did some work with the fear parts, to allow myself, in todays time with my students…to open up and allow the love out, and in. oops…the fear parts just came up and smacked me in the head….what are you doing saying all this…
I tend to withdraw from people on the weekends, and last weekend, one of my friends wanted me to go somewhere, and I said yes, but was looking for a hundred reasons to call and say no. I decided to challenge the fear parts and stretch myself and no matter how I was feeling, go, be loving and kind and to be non judgmental..instead of withdrawing. I did and was very glad I did.
Sometimes lately I judge myself so harshly when I am not succesful at challenging myself, or I indulge in the fp. And even judge that I have been working at this for so long, why am I still struggling with it so much. But on my walk in the forest, I thought…yesterday does not matter at all…it’s over….tomorrow doesn’t matter at all…what I need to do, is just be in the present moment, and challenge what is here in this moment…choose to be open, loving and kind…in this moment…and that seemed to help quite a bit. Blessings to you all.. Judy
Judy
Posted 11 years ago

Hey Lori, thankyou for your sharing. I think the first step in changing anything, is having the awareness of what is going on and it sounds like you have that already. the hard part is not indulging the fear parts. It was a real eye opener for me the first Journey to learn about the superiority part of my personality. I had never recognized that before.I had always thought I felt inferior. I hear in your words, an excitement about being able to explore and heal these parts of yourself. I feel that way as well with the issues in my life unless I am totally immersed in the fear parts. I really try and look on the person that seems to be triggering me, as a gift from the universe to heal more parts of myself, and then I can see a bigger picture, than just what is happening in the present moment. Not always so easy though. I also feel that part of learning compassion, at least for me it is…is learning compassion for myself. It seems that as I have more compassion for myself, I seem to grow in compassion for others….
I struggle with what is happening in the present moment…with my students…I get so caught up with stuff, and I have been really praying for guidance and awareness from the universe. Now when I am teaching, and I see the fear parts coming out, I am more able to have awareness in the middle of it, and I always say thankyou because I am so grateful when I can choose to change what is happening to something that is more loving.
What you just said though, I see that I am missing in my interactions with my students. I don’t pause long enough to feel the feelings in my body. so thankyou for sharing that as I will do that tomorrow.
Blessings to you…Judy

Judy
Posted 11 years ago

Hi, for me resisting sicness is like being at war with it….fighting it by being upset about it, and yes complaining about it as well. I can actually feel by body so tense from the upset over the pain, it feels like I’m in a fight. I have been learning to do the same thing….just allow it, allow all the body sensations. …and accept what is there. I also wrap loving arms all around the parts that hurt, and just try and be with it. I’m not always able to do this, as there is fear happening. fear of more pain, or fear of not being able to do what I need to. Sometimes I’m succesful with it and sometimes not. When I am, I find that my body relaxes, and the healing seems much quicker, or the pain eases to where I can handle it.
thanks for your sharing, as right now I have alot of pain, and I haven’t been accepting it like I need and want to do, so I this was helpful to me…Judy
Judy
Posted 11 years ago

Hi Rosalind…it’s good that you were aware of the body sensations when it happened. It might be helpful to go into that feeling of feeling overwhelmed that you felt earlier in the day, and see what comes up…sit with that feeling of feeling overwhelmed.
I’m dealing with the same issue, and just starting to look at it for myself….I appreciate your sharing…

Judy
Posted 12 years ago

Soula, thankyou for sharing about this. I saw myself in what you were saying when you speak to people. I do the same thing, and you have brought awareness to me about this, and I will remember this the next time it happens…I so love having a new awareness, as that is when I can begin to make changes….thankyou for this gift…
Judy
Posted 12 years ago

Hi Rhonda, I had the same problem in my first call, and I know I was in a fear place…I also had expectations as to the outcome of the call, and it didn’t go my way at all, and another lesson for me about wanting a specific outcome from everything. That was my big lessons at the journey this year. If you could scan your body, and see what comes up for you and allow yourself to go into it, it might be helpful to you. I think what you said Patrice is right on…the frightened parts really do filter my experiences and perceptions…that was a blessing for me to learn that, as then when I have a reaction, I also know that I may not be hearing it as it was intended…but through my frightened parts.

I am so thankful for these calls, and find them so supportive. It helps me to refocus myself, and get centered again on this spiritual journey…I feel like I have been given a beautiful gift…
Judy
Posted 12 years ago

Hi all, with all the things that happened for me at the Journey this year, I left feeling… that what felt like a little moment of learning for me, was in actuality a huge huge piece. Letting go of the attachment to the outcome…that is one of my major challenges in life, and when I left I thought I don’t know if I can challenge this one..it felt so big…it’s been a survival mode for me..manipulating the outcome …for whatever reason…on the drive home, I used my courage to set the intention to challenge this, and of course, the loving universe has given me such incredible opportunities…nothing has gone according to plan, from the biggest of things to the smallest of things..which resulted in alot of chaos within trying to accept these lessons and challenge the fear parts….my body just said stop….you just have to stop and be in this present moment….with what it has to offer….the result has been the most beautiful summer of my life….I did stop…everything…and just spent my time walking in the beautiful forest, appreciating life and all the blessings that I have, praying, meditating, feeling….lots of feeling…opening my heart…realizing my fear places have literally not allowed people to love me…so many things. It has been really hard at times, but so worth it.
My real tests come next week when I start back to teaching piano….I set my intention to allow myself to love each student, and equally…to allow them to love me…this as the first priority of each lesson, and the learning after that will fall into place. This won’t be easy for me, but I feel there has been a shift in me this summer, so with courage and intention…I look forward to this new year…:)Judy
Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)