Hello, Rhea. I can empathize with your feelings. I recently retired from a 33 year career as a teacher. School is beginning again tomorrow after the summer break, and I know that I would be feeling what you are feeling if I were also returning. It seemed to me that I could never be a good enough teacher and there was always so much more that I should be doing. It was all-consuming.
My eldest son, Joshua, was just married in Tofino, BC this past week. Although I was able to experience a sense of joy and wonder, I also felt profound regret that I had devoted so much of my time and energy to my job, and so little to building a spiritual partnership with my family while my sons were growing up.
I hope you stay on the path for building authentic power.