Thank you all for your comments. I have been noticing the pain and fear I have in being around people in general and how I push people away. After re-reading my post from almost two months ago I have deeper insight as to how I treat others as the cause of how I feel and how I have been believing I need to get away from them so I will not feel so bad. I have been feeling the pain of isolating myself. The great thing is, I am beginning to get excited about moving out of reclusiveness and isolation and feel the discomforts that arise during interactions.