Hi Eric,

The experience you describe was offered to me several times in my work life.
It triggered deep pain of not being respected(loved), of being left out and not belonging. The pain was in every energy center in my body. My familiar reaction was anger even rage at times.
My familiar behavior was to withdraw, repress/build a wall to not feel, to avoid by not speaking. I would mask this pain by pleasing and caretaking and working harder. All this was to prove that I was good enough. Good enough so that my employee will not go to my boss or collegue to discuss a work project, but to come to me.
The result was more resentment for myself and the other person.

I realized I was not taking responsibility for my feelings( in the true meaning of this word for me).
I was blaming and judging myself mostly and then others.
I learned deeply that this core fp has its roots in my childhood as I started to explore my personal history(my internal dynamics).
There, I took the blinders off to the reality that I was blamed and judged for the FP emotional reactions of my parents, primarily my mother. I thought that taking responsibility was to please or caretake but I could see clearly how these behaviors kept me safe in preventing me to feel the pain of the emotional abuse.
I have realized that this is not taking responsibility for my feelings, but manipulating my own feelings by distorting my true self.

So with my deep intention and commitment to change these destructive internal dynamics, to change myself and the generational karma of my family for the future of my children, I experimented with doing things DIFFERENTLY.

One time I decided to speak to my employee directly with the intention to learn about my integrity.
As I spoke I did my best to focus on my energy centers so that I could ground myself. I expressed to my employee about my discomfort and confusion. I asked him what his intention was for going to speak to my boss instead of discussing the work with me. I could feel the tension in my energy centers more relaxed just by doing this. Then my fps would not get what they wanted as I intuitively knew that the person was not being honest, so the pain would come back intensly in my stomach, heart and throat areas. I challenged this by continuing to be present and grateful for taking this step into vulnerability and freedom.
I then stretched myself to express as clearly and directly ( big challenge to my fp that is ashamed of my anger, as it perceived this behavior as selffish ), what I expected from our working relationship
From that I learned more clearly about the fp that feels inferior and seeks revenge and the loving part that is worthy of asking for what I need and expect, with the intention to challenge this fp.
And then…. to trust the Universe..

Messy, it was, a perspective from a fp. My loving parts see it as a dance of “anger” of moving in the direction of aligning my personality with my soul.

Subsequently I used my courage to speak to my boss directly also whose behavior with this employee was disrespectful and manipulative to me. For me it felt like he liked my employee more than me.
I went to see him with the intention to be open and respectful with his reaction and to be in my integrity and say what was most difficult.
He surely had a fp reaction which triggered my fp of loss of my job.He also challenged them by recognizing and acknowledging the work i continued to do. Intuitivly I knew I had stretched myself and he had given me a gift to help me out of the prison of my childhood illusions of others'(authority figures) expectation of me and of my own false belief of my not being good enough and my truth that I am good enough as I am with all my thoughts and feelings.

My New Year resolution is to open to seeing this truth. To open to receiving.

Thank you Eric for your sharing and giving me the opportunity to share.
I hope I have supported you in some way and I am open to you and all my spiritual partners for their support.

Love, Soula.

Eric, what do you think is the healthiest thing possible for you to do when interacting with the supplier?

Soula – thank you for sharing your incredible experiments in creating Authentic Power!

With love, Rosalind