Berta,
I want to acknowledge what you have written here. The way you are learning to recognize FPs with courage is very supportive to me. Dealing with FPs in the moment without trying to cover them up or to wait until later is just what I needed to read. I realize that I often pass over a reaction in order to move on to something more pleasant so I don’t have to feel the reaction deeply and challenge the FP. For instance, I have a FP that wants to be polite and pleasing, so I often miss the opportunity to challenge it, preferring instead to cover a sensation of discomfort by doing or saying whatever this FP thinks will be most pleasing to the other party at that moment. Of course, the FP resurfaces shortly after in the painful form of resentment directed at the other party. A recent example: I was attending a meeting with several people at which one colleague said something judgmental I disagreed with. I first noticed a sinking sensation in my solar plexus, which seems related to my sense of myself as an integral person. It’s a familiar sensation that returns whenever someone appears to be authoritative and controlling, which I know goes back to my childhood and early adulthood, when I had feelings of powerlessness. Then I noticed a FP that judged my colleague as imposing a particular point of view, but instead of challenging that FP by responding to my colleague’s statement from the most loving part of my personality, which I could have done rather easily, I chose to not say anything (in fact, I froze) and I just nodded, as though I agreed with her. Whether or not the other people at the meeting went through the same process, I was aware at that moment that I was equipped with the tools to use authentic power and to speak, gently, from a loving part of my personality. This was about being in my integrity and about connecting with the loving parts of my colleague’s personality. I then felt a FP of resentment, which clearly alerted me that I was not in my integrity. Now I welcome the discomfort, and the memory of the discomfort, as a teacher. Next time I am in a similar situation, I intend to be prepared and to remember to exercise my courage.
When you have a reaction of anger to people who seem “entitled,” can you tell me what you feel in your body? Can you describe the sensations? And can you describe the thoughts of judgment that arise? When you challenge those FPs, what do you do?
Thank you so much for sharing.
With love,
Catherine

Hello Berta,
Good to read you. Thank you so much for your response and your support. I love the fact that you are recognizing when you are triggered and so are able to shift your perspective from the trigger to yourself.
It’s challenging for me to answer your questions. I would say a FP of invisibility comes up when I am in the presence of someone I perceive as authoritative and controlling. It’s as though I no longer exist, as though I don’t have the right to exist, as though I am wrong and can’t see things correctly. This is only one FP reaction, though, in certain circumstances, I guess when the person is someone of recognized authority and/or male. In some other cases, I can have a FP reaction of hostility (rather than the disappearing act) and a desire to speak aggressively. With my colleague, the specific thought that accompanied the painful sensations was that she was unkind and blind about the people she disparaged. So I was in a FP that felt superior (judging) as well as inferior (not daring to contradict). I also wanted peace, no conflict. At the same time, I was aware of judging her and of not exercising my courage. I must admit that for a brief moment I indulged a FP that wouldn’t acknowledge her as a loving soul. But almost instantly I remembered everything else I knew about her, such as her kindness and openness in other situations. So even if I didn’t use my courage to say something, I ended up looking at my colleague from a loving perspective.
As far as I can tell right now, what I need to do next, in a similar situation, is both to exercise my courage and to keep on loving the trigger, no matter what they do or say. I can look at myself from the healthiest part of my personality and recognize that I have the ability to speak and that I can speak clearly, without hostility or attachment to the outcome.
I look forward to continuing this discussion with you, hopefully at the Journey, if you are attending this year.
With love,
Catherine

Thank you for your wishes, Berta. We will miss you this year, but I hope to stay in touch through the forum.
Have a wonderful summer and keep up the good work in creating authentic power.
With love,
Catherine