stretching myself….it was a real stretch for me just being on the call on Saturday. I have been in alot of pain recently, and Saturday is the one morning I can sleep in or try to. But I know me…when I start to shut down on things because of this or that, then it seems to get easier and easier for me to do that. I was so glad that I was able to put the call as more important than my fp on Saturday. I’ve been dealing with becoming older this year, as the chronic pain has gotten overwhelming right now. I started to think, how did I get to 65, and have so very few people in my life. even as I write this, their is alot of pain in my heart and throat as well as tears. Not in feeling sorry for myself, but in feeling sad that I have had so much fear and terror in my heart…of people…that not only was I not able to love very well, but I was unable to recieve love. I also had all my students, and after they left each week, I just closed down. My stretching is about learning to allow myself to love and be loved….Today before I started teaching I went on my usual walk in the forest, and did some meditating, and just really did some work with the fear parts, to allow myself, in todays time with my students…to open up and allow the love out, and in. oops…the fear parts just came up and smacked me in the head….what are you doing saying all this…
I tend to withdraw from people on the weekends, and last weekend, one of my friends wanted me to go somewhere, and I said yes, but was looking for a hundred reasons to call and say no. I decided to challenge the fear parts and stretch myself and no matter how I was feeling, go, be loving and kind and to be non judgmental..instead of withdrawing. I did and was very glad I did.
Sometimes lately I judge myself so harshly when I am not succesful at challenging myself, or I indulge in the fp. And even judge that I have been working at this for so long, why am I still struggling with it so much. But on my walk in the forest, I thought…yesterday does not matter at all…it’s over….tomorrow doesn’t matter at all…what I need to do, is just be in the present moment, and challenge what is here in this moment…choose to be open, loving and kind…in this moment…and that seemed to help quite a bit. Blessings to you all.. Judy

I took an opportunity this week to stretch myself. I was visiting my daughter near Oklahoma City. Getting a rental car in this location which is new for me was a stretch in itself and finding my way to her apartment. But the stretch that was significant to me was a stretch in shifting my perception. While visiting her I needed to reserve a rental car for my next leg of travel. The rental car company I booked with was new to me and their confirmation stated I needed to present a printed copy of my reservation when I picked up the car. My daughter’s printer was out of ink. I let other tasks take priority and decided to just go with the confirmation number and no printed copy. That was until later that night when I reviewed the reservation and it said I must have a printed copy. All sorts of frightened parts became active … What am I going to do? (fear) I don’t want to deal with this! (anger) I don’t know how to get a copy before my morning flight! (victim) I said to my daughter… “I can’t do this!” And she said … “Yes you can. Find a Fedex that opens early and use their computer to access your email and print a copy. Goodnight.” And that was when the real stretch occurred, for I knew she was right. I could stay stuck in fear and not sleep, or I could take responsibility for my decision and see if I could find a Fedex. I found one that opened at 7am. It would work. And I decided to shift my perception from fear… What if I can’t find the location to I will do my best, from I don’t know how to use their computer to print this to I will learn how and then be able to do it another time if I want to. My fear lessened, my heart rate dropped. I began to feel peace and growth without attachment to the outcome.
With love… Cheryl