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Topic: Spiritual partnership with parents - Ame-Lia T Started 8 years, 4 months ago

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
Ame-Lia T
Posted 8 years ago

Hello everyone,
It is good to be here writing, and I look forward to being with all of you at the journey.
My Mom recently came to visit me and I found that most of the time I was indulging frightened parts of my personality. I was impatient with her when she asked me the same question multiple times in the day. I judged her for acting out of fear and judging others. I allowed frightened parts that felt superior take over, preventing me from being open and curious. A backlash of all of these feelings were overwhelming when I was driving to the airport to drop her off. What had I done? Why would I treat my Mother with such disdain and impatience and judgement when I love her so dearly and miss her presence in my life? I can feel that now as I write as a burning in my chest, and nausea in my solar plexus, and a clenching tightness in my throat.
After reflecting on my Mom’s visit I realized that frightened parts do not want to lose her. When I saw her frailty, it scared me, and frightened part reacted by putting up walls. How interesting a response. It’s like my auto-pilot (aka frightened parts of my personality) kicks in and tries to protect me from any pain. However, the irony is that it was such a painful experience to indulge the frightened parts and create a disconnection.
Lately I feel that I am much more about talking the talk than walking the walk, allowing feelings of superiority to guide my actions vs. feeling equal and connected with those around me. I know there is something there bubbling under the surface but I haven’t been able to access it yet. The thought of feeling what i need to feel is so daunting and scary. I have felt that pain before and don’t trust that I can be with it right now.
I’m looking for support at how to take the first step. How do I touch what is inside me needing to be healed when frightened parts are so active? With love, Ame-Lia
Sharon Jones
Posted 8 years ago

Hi Ame-Lia,
Thank you for sharing. I am looking forward to being with you at the Journey too. You have taken the first step to challenging this frightened part of your personality by being aware of it and asking for support from spiritual partners. What loving intentions might you set to challenge it further with your mother and others?
Love, Sharon
Luz Gonzalez
Posted 8 years ago

Hi Ame-Lia!
Thank you so much for telling your experience with your mothers visit. I thought your observations were very insightful. I too share similar FP reactions when dealing with my parents and your awareness was enlightening for me.
I would like to suggest you re read your last paragraph. I feel there is another FP there that goes deeper than what you mentioned “…feelings of superiority to guide my actions…”
Thank you again for sharing!
Love,
Luz
Ame-Lia T
Posted 8 years ago

Hello Sharon and Luz, Thank you so much for your supportive responses.
Luz, thank you for bringing my attention back to that paragraph. What comes up for me when I re-read it are feelings of disappointment and shame. There are strong frightened parts that feel like I am failing in my spiritual journey by failing to put in the effort I need to create authentic power in my life. I can feel that in my solar plexus as a tight pain and my throat constricts. I don’t feel anything in my chest, but I think I need to be with it for a bit longer. It is familiar to me to have these fp’s present. They tell me that I’m not good enough. That I’m never going to get this.
As for setting intentions Sharon, I would like to set the intention to love myself through all of this. It’s good to remind myself that at any moment I have a choice to indulge a frightened part or to choose a more loving part of my personality, be it compassion, patience, or acceptance. I also want to continue to remind myself of my deeper goal, which is to create more love and peace in the world. I have the choice to do that, and all of these occurrences with my Mother and others, are opportunities to do so. That brings a warm feeling to my chest. I intend to reach out more to spiritual partners too for support and guidance. I’m realizing more and more that I cannot do this on my own, especially when fp’s are so active. Thank you to both of you.
Love, Ame-Lia
Sundar Naga
Posted 8 years ago

Ame-Lia,

One step you might consider taking is to call and talk to your mom in a loving manner. Try to develop a heart-to-heart communication. For example, you can refer back to some of the incidents that took place during her visit, involving your impatience and judging, and express how sorry you feel now about them. In case you have already discussed with her the concepts of Gary and Linda’s, then you can develop the conversation using their language. Otherwise, you can express the ideas in a general fashion without invoking too much of the technical terms.

You probably discussed with her your feelings when you were driving her back to the airport. If you didn’t, it is okay. You might want to consider doing it now. It is never late. (I can recall a heart-to-heart conversation between me and my son as he was taking me and my wife in a taxi back to the airport four years ago. In this case the original faults were mine due to my fp’s being active.)

With love and trust,
Sundar
Carol Ann Jorgensen
Posted 8 years ago

Dear Ame-Lia, I look forward to being with you at the Journey. I appreciate your courage and articulation in sharing about the frightened parts of your personality that came into your awareness with your mother. I hear that you are open to challenging the frightened parts of your personality by feeling the pain with the intention to healing it. I have also recognized what you mentioned above “the irony is that it was such a painful experience to indulge the frightened parts and create a disconnection” is what my frightened parts always do when I indulge them. Thank you for the reminder.

With love,
Carol Ann
Ame-Lia T
Posted 8 years ago

Thank you Sundar and Carol Ann for your support. Sundar, I appreciate your advice and did have a talk with my Mom the next day. She is aware of the work I’m doing with Gary and Linda and all of you and is supportive of that process. Thank you Carol Ann. I look forward to being with you too and supporting each other over those miraculous days together.
With Love,
Ame-Lia
Sundar Naga
Posted 8 years ago

Very glad to hear it, Ame-Lia.

With love and trust,
Sundar
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