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Topic: Seat of the Soul: chapter 10, Addiction - Catherine Started 9 years, 9 months ago
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Posted 10 years ago
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On p. 296 of the Study Guide, Gary writes that “Everyone has addictions.” In the online video, as I recall, he says everyone has addictions because everyone has frightened parts of their personality. I was intrigued by those words, as I had never thought that everyone necessarily had addictions. As I reflected upon these words and opened myself to my intuition, it suddenly became clear that at least one of my addictions goes beyond what I considered until now to be an addiction. I realize that I am addicted to controlling a person close to me whose own addiction activates deep frightened parts of my personality. Almost every day I indulge fps of superiority and angry fps that want to control this person’s behavior in order to feel better about myself. Of course, these are fps of powerlessness, which are unbearably painful–a crushing weight on my chest, coming from an absence of love. This person’s addiction is also reflecting my own addictions that fps don’t want to acknowledge. I realize that my attempt to control is an addiction because I have been unable to let go of it, day after day. What a stunning realization! Now that I’ve become aware of this addiction, I feel empowered to challenge it. It’s amazing how a change of perspective can be so supportive. In this particular instance, I am no longer indulging fps that feel righteous and want to get locked into a power struggle. Instead, when these fps are activated, I remember to stop and feel the pain and then challenge the unconscious impulse to manipulate and control. This instance has supported me in understanding more deeply that I can only change myself, not another person. I feel grateful for this new awareness, which has also brought greater harmony in my life. I now feel one step closer to realizing the intentions of my soul–harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for life. |
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Posted 10 years ago
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Hi Catherine, I have begun journeying into addiction to control in my life recently, as well. I have been separated and or divorced from my children’s father for about two and a half years. I have tried to maintain contact with, and to be supportive of my children during this time. My youngest daughter, who is 20, lives with her father and attends a community college. I have set up dates with her to go out to lunch and etc. I’ve noticed that sometimes there seems to be a controlling force in the background of her life which seems to affect her ability to participate in some get togethers which she had looked forward to doing. I have been recently having a lot of pain in my body over this. A couple of days ago, I felt like I was carrying a five pound bag of potatoes within my chest/solar plexus area. It was crushing and heavy. I have felt for a long time that this presents an unhealthy atmosphere for my children. I have chosen to let them know that I am here for them whenever they wish to reach out but that I will let them let me know when that should occur. It is my intention to continue to look at my emotions and thoughts as they come up in regard to this and to learn truthfully what has been my position in the situation. I know that I have been afraid to lose contact with them and of not being loved by them. I will need to continually seek love within myself and to trust the Universe continually as I move forward. I will also need to actively seek compassion for others from within myself and to not judge others or myself. I find your entry to be very supportive, especially the part where you speak of challenging the unconscious impulse to manipulate and control. Thank you. Namaste, |
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Posted 10 years ago
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I am grateful today for the benefits of choosing to do my best with creating authentic power with my life in regards to my previous entry. When I have thoughts on this subject, I do not allow myself to become absorbed in them which would increase my frustration and anxiety and spiral from there, feeding off itself continually and thus, worsening. I still have pain in my chest area and solar plexus, but it has lessened. I do not seek to do things to run from it. Since not letting my thoughts run away with themselves, I am experiencing more peace with the situation. I think that a continuing trust is beginning to occur. I feel that I have made a loving choice. I am working to become more compassionate of the others involved. To have more compassionate thoughts and considerations than ones of blame and anger. I am grateful to have begun listening to the audio 25th anniversary edition of The Seat of the Soul. I drive 45 miles to and from nursing school and its been good to hear the voices of Oprah, and Gary, and Maya Angelou, (I had never heard her voice before). It is supporting me to listen to this in that it gives me daily reminder of the path which I want to stay with in my life’s journey. Also, I don’t have much time right now to read things other than my textbooks so it is wonderful to have this format. Love, |
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Posted 10 years ago
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Hi Cindy, Thank you so much for sharing. I deeply appreciate your description of challenging frightened parts that want to control others in order to feel better, which obviously will never happen, but fps are obstinate! Since my post above, I haven’t indulged those fps in the situation I described. Moving from fear to love and compassion for others as well as myself is key to my creating authentic power. I am so grateful for this change of perspective, which has brought a change of behavior. It’s as though I can see myself from outside when these fps become activated, and so they no longer have the same power over me. Instead of reacting unconsciously, a glimmer of awareness enables me to stop my reaction and to respond with love. Sometimes this means just remaining silent and/or leaving a triggering situation. I feel compassion for this other person and refrain from judgment, while feeling compassion for myself as an evolving soul. This is what it takes for me to evolve! I see this person’s addiction as part of their spiritual evolution, too. How nice that you get to listen to Seat of the Soul while driving to and back from school. What a great opportunity for centering yourself. I do the same in my car, always listening to an audio book that enriches me. A few years ago, I listened to the whole Seat of the Soul that way, and I’ve been listening to it again this year as I do the study guide with spiritual partners. Love, |
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Posted 8 years ago
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I am relatively new to this site. Still very much in the beginning stages of learning to recognize and experience emotions. One thing I am noticing is that when something activates my fps, I do not feel any discernible pain, heaviness etc. Instead, I feel a deep hunger, and I end up eating everything in sight. So, the eating addiction is either a result of the unrecognized feelings, or a deep emptiness, powerlessness, lack of love that I experience in my gut. So, is emotion always felt as a pain, heaviness… Or can it manifest as a sudden emptiness within (hunger)? Should I accept this as an experience of emotions, or continue to look for emotions? Anyone else have a similar experience? Would appreciate your guidance. |
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