Over the course of the last few years, my husband and I have had several conversations on the difference between supporting and enabling and responsible choices. This afternoon our granddaughter called who through the choices she made by getting arrested for driving without a license has created yet another financial dilemma. She has a history of calling grandpa to send her money in these situations. When he hung up the phone, I made the comment “that is what enabling looks like.” I was judging and blaming our granddaughter and my husband, and most of all, I felt justified. I recognized that my judging and blaming and feeling justified were frightened parts of my personality. My husband left the house to purchase the money transfer to our granddaughter. The healthiest choice I could make was to go to a movie – this was a different choice than I would have made in the past. It is more familiar for me to indulge my addiction to food by binge eating. The binge eating would have numbed my pain but would also have created self-hatred for myself when I realized that I had indulged this frightened part of my personality. I returned home and I made another frightened part comment to him regarding enabling when he asked me what was going on with me. A little later my daughter called (she is also a member of the authentic power learning community) and I shared with her that I wanted her to help me see the frightened part that I was indulging. She asked me my thoughts. I shared that I felt my security and safety was in jeopardy. She asked what I was feeling in my body. I shared that I felt as though I was being stabbed in the heart and that my throat was being strangled. She asked me if this could be core frightened part of Powerlessness. I said that in the past, the feeling of Powerless was in my 1st and 2nd energy centers so I had not recognized these thoughts or this pain as Powerlessness. But yes it was because of my pain from feeling not safe and insecure. I am grateful for my daughter’s support and also the support of other spiritual partners that I talked with tonight. I was actually waiting for this scheduled call tonight to share what had been going on for me. It did not even come into my awareness to reach out to my spiritual partners for support.

I have been in spiritual partnership with others for a long time but through my indulging my frightened parts I did not reach out for support or even think to call someone – I was waiting for my group call tonight.

My intention is to create authentic power and this as a reminder to myself that I do have souls in my life who are spiritual partners and someone will be there for me if only I make the calls. I also have the Authentic Power/Spiritual Partnership Guidelines to support myself. I know in my heart that I always make time to support others when they reach out to me.

With gratitude, Carol Ann