Hi David,

My experience is that I usually tense up my body when I am in a frightened part and I usually feel like I can breathe more deeply and freely when I am in a loving part of my personality. I will look at this again to see if maybe my breathing and release of tension is really a frightened part disguised as a loving part. Thanks for the suggestion.

I have been sitting with this situation and looking at my feelings and thoughts of being having too much to do. I also have been focusing on what Pam and Gail wrote regarding when they think that anything outside of themselves are responsible for what happens in their lives and/or they blame some one or some thing outside of themselves for how they are choosing to react/feel and that it could be a fp that is active that wants them to believe they are powerless and a victim. It has been helpful for me to think about this and also what Pam said about events in one’s life being triggers to help heal fps. Gary and Linda have talked all about this before, and I always understood what they meant, but haven’t been really applying this concept to my current experience. So, I’m grateful for the reminder and support.

The anticipation and preparation regarding being a part of this group or team experience has been a trigger for me to challenge fps that need healing. I am going to be with my thoughts and feelings about this experience and take a look at it.

Love,
Deb

Hi David, Thank you for supporting Deb. It is familiar for me to feel overwhelm and I know I have allowed it to limit my spiritual growth. A recent example for me: I was asked to speak before a group and share what I had learned at a Leadership Institute that I attended. In the past, I would not have seen this as an opportunity but this time I chose to make a healthy choice and say “yes”. As I was preparing the talk, I realized that their was so much I could share about my experience the feeling of overwhelm surfaced yet again. As I sat with the pain in my heart and in my throat, the frightened part thoughts were “I have nothing to share”, “How could they ask this of me?”, “Why me?”, “There is always a price to pay!”. Then I heard healthy self say “focus on what was important to me to share from what I learned”. I did and the sharing seemed to write itself. When I presented it, I spoke from my heart and not from my head. The energy of the sharing was amazing. I received confirmation from some in the audience as to how what I shared touched their heart. I feel I experienced grace. With gratitude, Carol Ann

Right now, I am thinking about that song, “Turn! Turn! Turn! (to Everything There is a Season),” and the first verse, which is “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” That first verse reminds me of intention and how important it is that I understand what my intention is for doing anything in my life, such as taking on more responsibilities. I have challenged the fp for many years that didn’t know if it could assume more responsibilities, and I have learned and grown from challenging it. I’ve nurtured my humanitarian and care giving side; I’ve learned and grown by participating in spiritual programs and group activities; I’ve learned academically by getting my Master’s Degree—the list continues, and I assumed these responsibilities while working full time. But for every thing there is a season, and I see my season or intention as being one where I don’t have to prove anything to myself or anyone that I can take on more. I can assume many responsibilities and will continue to do so. I also want to take care of myself and get more than five hours of sleep each workday night; I want to “be” sometimes instead of “doing;” I want to have maybe just a few extra minutes each day to get in touch with my inner voice because it makes me feel grounded and helps me to know myself better; I also want to continue to grow spiritually and have time for creativity. These are my intentions, and I do not feel that taking on more and more is always the best way to challenge the feeling of being overwhelmed. Again, it depends on one’s intention and one’s season.

There was a woman that I worked with many years ago, and at the time, there was a lot of overtime work available in our office. This woman probably worked between 15-25 hours extra each week because she wanted to help support her husband and her daughter through college. Approximately five years after consistently working overtime, she developed cancer and died less than six months later. In observing what happened to her, I do not believe that her intention was to take care of herself; instead she was taking care of others and maybe trying to prove something to herself. I have empathy for this woman and see the lessons she taught me—and I am grateful for that.

I think considering being a part of the team experience triggered the frightened parts of me that wanted to care take and say I will participate because I thought others wanted me to. I also believe I was people pleasing. However, my intentions are clear to me now and I am grateful for the support I have received from the community board in becoming clear about what I need to do for myself.

Love,
Deb

Hi Carol Ann:

I was not scanning when writing my response, but I do remember my thoughts, which were that I knew it was getting late into the evening, but I wanted to write my response and that it was okay that it was getting late. Late at night when I know I need to go to bed, I usually feel very calm and also like I have a second wind. It is late again and my thoughts are the same; however, I am scanning and do feel a dull ache in my solar plexus right now. Maybe the dull ache is a fp that doesn’t want to disagree with you and is concerned about stating my thoughts, but I will challenge that fp and relate to you that I feel a story actually sounds like a story and I believe I was communicating what I have learned about myself and stated my intentions. I also conveyed that I don’t really think that what was triggered in me when asked to participate in the group/team project was actually a fp that felt overwhelmed. It was actually the fp that doesn’t feel that I have time to take care of myself, etc. (see above), and will now have to care take and people please others by being involved in the group/team project.

I appreciate your feedback, Carol Ann, and look forward to hearing back from you or anyone if you may be seeing something that I am not seeing.

Love,
Deb

Alot of what Deb had said, was just like it was coming out of my mouth. Alot of the same feelings of feeling overwhelmed and not enough time for me…and none of the things I do, can I stop. Doing things here, just felt like something else to cause pressure.
Recently, someone asked me to do something…and it would require between 5-10 hours a week. At first I was shocked, as that is an enourmous amount of time for me to add things in my life to. All the fear parts came up….but one thing was said that was like an aha moment for me….maybe I should look at why I have set up my life like that…

I could give a ton of reasons why there is just no time, and there really isn’t…but the bigger picture is why am I so busy. That was when the pain hit. I realized that there is so many fear parts that is causing me to make life way too busy for what is good for me. I realized when I sat with it, that I am now almost 66, and still teaching piano, the same as when I was 40. I could say that it’s financial, as that is part of it…but I received my pension this year so could have cut back a bit. I had intended to but didn’t. It’s because of being afraid of transitioning to a new era of my life…being an older person…I feel 30 in my heart…but body says no way!
There was so much pain at moving into the pensioner part of my life, that I just have been in denial about it, by majorly overworking.tons of students, playing for choirs, looking after a rescue dog for someone etc. Then there was also the realization that I move in to this next phase of my life with no family and not much support. I didn’t even realize that I had all that terror about this. I guess I have kept so busy I didn’t have time to feely the pain of lonliness. I had no clue about any of this, until this was mentioned to me. What a gift that was. Even though it is painful, and I my fear parts feel afraid of this next part of my life, I was grateful for the chance of having awareness of this, as maybe next year I can do something to change it. So to that gift given to me, I say thankyou.

Hi Judy, Thank you for your beautiful and courageous sharing. What I have found so supportive for me in this journey to creating authentic power, is to realize that the pain in my life was offering me the opportunity to heal, deeply heal, fp’s of my personality that were keeping the cycle ongoing. When I looked for an external reason for my pain, and tried to heal it that way, all it did was relieve it temporarily and shift it to somewhere else in my life. I thought the story of my pain was the cause, instead of realizing that it was a pointer to something much deeper. My body was manifesting my need for the healing of my soul. Your sharing was an inspiration for me to be more courageous as I challenge my fp’s, and it is an honor to be on this journey with you. wi