I am noticing a FP that wants to indulge feeling deeply sad. My movements slow way down and I want to just sit in like a despair feeling. This feels familiar. I am indulging the pain rather than rising above the pain accepting the perfection that is deeper than any form and untouched by time….I am not there yet. However I see that perspectice. My intention is to heal this FP.

Hello Patric and Eric,
Thank you for your support. As far as I am aware my intention for sharing came from a LP that desires support with this very familiar FP, and expressed to see what I could learn about myself by sharing. Yes, it is familiar Eric, and prior to my becoming a therapist. I have a very strong FP that believes the pain I see in myself and the world is real. The FP thoughts are of deep sadness, feeling there is nothing I can do….and sheer powerlessness. The pain in this moment is a deep ache in my sacral area, a deep ache in my heart, and the tense tingling familiar sensation in my hands that feels like shame. The intention of the FP is to have me withdraw, pull away and do nothing….to have me not choose to create authentic power, to have me believe this pain and indulge in it by pretending to be disconnected in all moments, acting this disconnection out in thousands of ways. It is challenging even now for me to truly live and believe that this pain isn’t real, that it is simply a frightened part of my personality, it isn’t true. I notice a resistance to challenging it…another FP of my personality. My intention is to challenge this pain by fully experiencing it.
Love,
Kristen Richardson

Eric,
Thank you. I feel supported by you and the community. It helps me to speak these things outloud (writing) to gain clarity for myself and it is a challenge to my FP that just wants to “deal with it on my own.” The persective of the LP of my personality is feeling the Power of healing this pain. The power I feel with sitting with the pain…the awareness of the healing taking place in my energy. The pain truly directs me to the space of healing.
Love,
Kristen

Thanks Pam for sharing. Yes my FP pattern is to either want to caretake (superiority FP) or avoid certain people or situations that trigger my FP’s (inferior FP) because I don’t feel capable or ready to face the pain in me. What I am seeing more clearly in this moment is that the other day with the above client, the sadness was an indulgence of feeling a FP of inferiority.
Thank You for your support! The thoughts of the FP are “man, maybe I’m not ready to face this pain in me.” The intention of the FP is to pull back from the opportunities to see military client’s and continue to avoid feeling this pain in me…to indulge the FP rather than challenge it. My heart feels tight at the center, the back of my neck feels tight/squeezed, my 6th center feels clenched, that back of my upper heart area is tight, all familiar.
Love,
Kristen