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Topic: Noticing My Intention - David Started 11 years, 6 months ago

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David
Posted 11 years ago

I’ve been struggling with wondering what I should say to someone at work this week. In the past, I’ve ignored or avoided him and have set my intention to be more direct thinking that will support him. Although, it seems like he needs to hear these things because he is often unaware of his actions, I notice that it doesn’t feel good in my body when I think of these things. I have a tightness in my stomach and my chest. I feel distant and disconnected from him. I finally stopped focusing on him and decided to notice my intention. I realized that my intention is to take this opportunity to criticize and blame him, to make him wrong so that he will change. Now I know that I’ll only create more distance if I talk to him in this way. So what will I say? I don’t know. My frightened parts say just forget about it. My loving parts want to release distance, to see him as a soul and be open to the healthiest thing to say. So, I plan to be open this week when I interact with this person. At a minimum, I am going to notice if I am feeling distance. If I am seeing him as an equal. Then perhaps, the appropriate words will come.

David
Joanne
Posted 11 years ago

Hi David,

You say you realize that your intention is to criticize and blame to make him wrong so he will change and if he changes than you will feel better right? If this person were a spiritual partner how would you react what would say to him? Is there a way you can support him from love? Are you feeling superior or inferior to him? A good practice for me when I am not feeling equal to someone is to go thru this exercise which is to see everyone as if for the first time.

Thanks for your post.

Love, Joanne

David
Posted 11 years ago

Thank you Joanne,

I definitely noticed that I was feeling superior. I had an interesting insight yesterday. I had frightened parts active that were feeling inferior and anxious because I couldn’t figure out something at work. That familiar pain that doesn’t think I’m worthy if I don’t do things perfectly. If I can’t get this done in a timely fashion, there may be consequences from my customer, e.g. they may insist I work on the weekend to get it resolved. But I realized that even if there are consequences for my mistakes, I’m more than the sum total of my mistakes. I can know that my value has nothing to do with any of this. I thought that maybe the reason that my frightened parts are judging my partner so harshly is because of how the judge myself so harshly. I can still hold my partner accountable if necessary for things that he has done, but I can remember that he has value far beyond any mistakes that he has made, that he is a soul. My intention is to remember and act on that.

Love, David
Cheryl
Posted 11 years ago

Hi Joanne and David,

Thank you Joanne for your tool of shifting one’s perception from fear to love by responding to someone you have fearful parts active with (judging and blaming for example) as if they were a spiritual partner. I have some fearful parts active with one of my family members. I am going to give this a try.
Thank you both for your posts. With love … Cheryl
KenJR
Posted 6 years ago

This is an older post but it speaks to me because David noted that certain fearful parts of him caused him to judge a coworker unfavorably. He reminded himself that the coworker was a soul having value beyond his mistakes just as he had value beyond his mistakes, and made an intention to act on this new awareness. Perhaps David could first note his own mistakes to his coworker and how they were corrected, then with courage and as a courtesy warn his coworker, without going to his boss, to be more aware of the fact that some of his actions seemed to be potentially harmful and why.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 12 months ago by KenJR.
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