Last week my daughter and two young granddaughters were visiting from another state. On Saturday they, my d-I-l and my 2 other grandchildren went out for lunch. On the return home one of my granddaughters went with my d-I-l, so only my daughter an 3 year old granddaughter went home with me in my car. My daughter and I were having a wonderful conversation about our spiritual growth. Usually on arriving home, I get one little one out of the car and she gets the other one. About 5 minutes after we entered the house, we could not find our 3 year old. We have a swimming pool, so we were all frantically checking it and the rest of the
house to find her. After about 15 minutes, my daughter went back to check the car. There in the back seat, strapped in her car seat, in sweltering 90 degree weather, was our baby crying hysterically. Fp’s were everywhere. My daughter was distraught that she could have so endangered her daughter. . I/fp was equally blaming myself for what could have been a nightmare I can hardly bring myself to consider. Shortly after the acute situation was over, I was aware of my own fp’s, and those of all involved. I knew that my intention was to use this experience in the best way I could to create Authentic Power. After we all calmed down, I did the best I could to care give, not caretake. However, for me, I find that discussing what’s going on for me with another, helps me process and see more clearly. Later that evening I was talking with another of my daughter’s about how I was feeling, and my daughter ( 3 year old’s Mom) heard our conversation, and became upset with me. She said she felt that talking about it further was more distressing, and wanted to “just let it go”. She and I rarely have a cross word, so to hear her say this was u usual. But It did make me question my own intention, plus I had a great urge to caretake her. Instead of doing that, I decided to use it as the opportunity it was to use the SPG’s and look closely at what was going on with me. The next morning, I went to her and just hugged her and told her that I loved her. I didn’t want to stay in the energy of blaming or explaining. I was only taking responsibility for myself. I really was able to detach myself from how my daughter would respond or react. I used each of the SPG’s to challenge the fp’s that were so attached to outcomes, and want me to judge.. I continue to use this situation to learn about the difference between caretaking and caregiving, between attachment and trust, between what is motivated by truly loving my family and my fear of loss. Blessings, Pam