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Topic: Letting new experiences into our lives - Shelley P Started 6 years, 7 months ago

Viewing 14 posts - 16 through 29 (of 29 total)
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Sundar Naga
Posted 7 years ago

Hi Shelley,

As usual, a very thoughtful post from you. I loved reading it.

I think the following can be added to your list as #6.
6. When someone asks a question, share Gary’s own words that would be appropriate as an answer to the given question.

Whenever I did the above in the past, someone or other asked me: “Is that a fear based response?” That never prevented me from answering questions that anyone might ask on this board.

Thinking back on what triggered all these discussions in this thread, you asked after narrating your plan for the day: “What risks are you taking today? Anyone want to play the game?” Your use of the word ‘risk’ attracted Doug’s attention, which he found to be interesting. His frightened part wants him to be seen by others here as a Loving and Wise person. So, it considers his sharing anything here as risky lest someone should suggest that he wrote it from fear. It therefore stops him at times from sharing here. As you often indicate, Doug is an amazing person. If this happens to him, it could happen to many others. Stefanie was such a victim a while ago.

As your #4 indicates, it is okay to make mistakes, nay it is better to make mistakes so that someone could point it out and put the personality on the road of spiritual growth. As your #5 points out, it is better one does it in a way that demonstrates love and caring.

Overall it is important that this community board encourages people to share freely whatever, since sharing is, according to Gary, one of the four intentions of every soul.

With love and trust,
Sundar
Shelley P
Posted 7 years ago

Hi Sundar,

I agree, you have pretty much kept the community board going the past couple of years. I know you made me feel welcome, and always provided much needed and insightful thoughts, suggestions, ideas, support.

I am leaning towards modifying your #6 a little. I would think we should keep Gary’s words to a minimum, and focus on sharing our personal story – OUR thoughts, understanding, interpretation, experimentations with Gary’s teachings.

Why? Because of Gary’ Authentic Power guideline:
Speak personally and specifically rather than generally and abstractly!

Gary’s words from our pen (or more appropriately, from our keyboard), are not our personal words, they are abstract. So, I think, a brief quote may be ok to use to make a point, but should not be the focus and end of story.

I am sure you meant something similar. But clarifying.

====///
Here is my one additional communication guidelines suggestion: A long time ago I used to attend Coda/NarAnon, AA… and any and all Anon meetings. One rule in all of the Anon programs,
one could never ever dare to say what someone else was thinking, feeling….not for a second, not to make a point, not…just never!

Those were a bunch of mean codgers, especially in AA. If someone dared to say what some other person was thinking,feeling, someone would immediately pipe up with: who died and made you God? How do you know what is in their thoughts, their minds….

When we speak of someone else thoughts, motives, we could be really stepping on some sensitive toes. So, in the above post, I dont think it was right to talk about Doug’s motives.

I know you were trying to noodle through the issue and get to clarity. I dont know how you could have done that, but I am sure you would have found a way.

You may say I spoke briefly about Doug in my writing, but I used a hypothetical. What if he were doing this because of xyz… even with that i was technically speaking crossing into his boundaries.

The reason I am suggesting this community guideline about only speaking about our own thoughts/feelings is because it works in two ways: 1. It reduces the risk of offending/hurting someone.
2. But, even more, because it is good for ourselves. That darn tricky ego! Does not want to focus on OUR issues. It wants to solve the world’s problems, the neighbor’s problems, anyone’s problems but my own.
The discipline of only speaking about ourself will allow us to examine and resolve our issues, rather than continuing the old patterns.

Hope this makes sense, Old timers, please speak up! otherwise, ms bossy pants here is setting the rules of engagement!

Love

Shelley
Shelley P
Posted 7 years ago

Wanted to share a couple more thoughts on importance of sticking to “I” statements.

First, from the perspective of the advanced spiritual partners who are offering advise (will write about learner perspective later) :

Imagine someone saying, “Is that a frightened part of your personality talking?” Period. End of comment.
Vs.
In 1928, (ok, 2008), when I first joined, I had a very similar experience. I was doing this, that the other. Then someone helped me to understand that I was making the other person the enemy because I was afraid they would steal my lunch. It was the fear. So, instead of blaming them, fighting with them, I found this abc solution to bring out my loving part. Is it possible, you may be doing something like that, what can you do to bring out the loving part….?

Oh my! A complete discussion. Note, the partner is not prescribing a solution, but offering up how there might be another alternative, sharing their experience so the learner/newbie does not feel so alone on the journey.

This is not for the benefit of the learner alone. It is actually for the benefit of the advising spiritual partner:
– Fuller and fuller understanding of their own past behaviors, motivations (its an onion, every time you talk, you peel away another layer of the onion)
– You strengthen your practice of bringing out the loving players
– An appreciation for how far you have come (nothing is as motivating as reminders of positive outcomes to continue the hard work of reworking yourself.)
– You get an opportunity to spread Gary’s vision, help people evolve into multi-sensory humans (sharing, reverence for life)
– You get to be a sponsor, spiritual partner, role model (so satisfying, motivating, and now you are role model, you can’t afford to slip slide back!).

Sorry to keep bringing the Anon programs into this forum, but this sponsorship and service aspect I believe is one of the reasons why AA has been the most successful recovery program vs even expensive treatments. Why it continues to flourish more than half a century after Bill Smith and Bob Wilson’s deaths!

So, all you experienced folks, won’t you shine the light for us, won’t you lead the way? It’s only for your own good!

and now I have to go examine why I am writing these long posts, what’s my fear? ?
Sundar Naga
Posted 7 years ago

Come on Shelley! These long posts are not out of fear; they appear to be out of the loving intention of sharing. May your sharing continue!

With love and trust,
Sundar
Sundar Naga
Posted 7 years ago

Hi Shelley,

I totally agree with you on your modification of my #6.

In fact, as I just remembered this morning when I was thinking in bed about your posts, whenever I responded to somebody’s question by quoting Gary, I always did so in a personal manner by using I rather than you or we.

And in fact, I have completely personalized my favorite Gary’s quotes which I chant several times every day:
1. I want to keep my personality aligned with my soul all the time by choosing to create my life experiences with my soul’s intentions of harmony, cooperation, sharing and reverence for Life, and by developing in me my soul’s characteristics of forgiveness, humbleness, clarity and love for everyone and everything.
2. The essence of authentic power is for me to distinguish within myself between love and fear, and always choose love no matter what is happening inside or outside of me.
3. My interactions form the substance of my spiritual growth since they provide me the opportunities to develop emotional awareness and to make responsible choices.
4. God, please help me challenge my frightened parts and cultivate my loving parts so that I can give the gifts my soul wants me to give.
5. I cannot heal the fear of another and no one can heal mine. But, I can inspire others with my emotional awareness, responsible choices, intuition and trust in the Universe.
(A while ago I posted the above in the post where I invited the spiritual partners on this community board to share their favorite quotes of Gary’s. I rewrote them here for your easy reference.)

Thus, I am completely for your modification. Thank you.

Incidentally, if there are any favorite Gary’s quotes for you, can you please share them here? Eager to know what they are. If I feel attracted to them, I would like to add them to the above list of mine.

With love and trust,
Sundar

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Sundar Naga.
Ami
Posted 7 years ago

Dear Spiritual friends,

I have been reading this topic and giving me a chance to challenge one of my not loving part of personalities which I have been carrying for long time.

Thank you for this opportunity.

It has been awaking lots of emotions which are not easy to be rationalized. I have been observing these for days. They are lots of layers very mixed emotional feelings and lots of different rationalities in my mind. And, today I still can not figure out what they are.

However, I know one thing very clear that I have been withdrawing from this opportunity to grow through communication in this community. So, at least, I decide to face this reality of withdrawing which is due to pain of powerlessness which I am in chaos state with no control.

One thing is very clear that is that I am very afraid of something. And, actually the reason or cause does not matter, even though the reason might have given me some kinds of comfort, and by that I might have been comforted in some kind of short grief. I was restless in mind and lots of physical tensioned currents in throat, shoulder, solar plexus areas.

These are the things so far I have confronted.

I would like to share one of video’s which supported me this time to share my this experience as much as with one of loving part of personalities, which at this time in severe shortage state, can extend.

Beginner’s Mind

Thank you for letting me to share and all your supports.

With gratitude and love,

Ami
Shelley P
Posted 7 years ago

Hi Ami,

Thank you for your powerful and honest sharing. You make so many good points in your sharing that resonate with and motivate me today.

Firstly, it is so inspiring to see you doing the hard work of sitting with your emotions, feeling them. That is my challenge, feeling the emotions. Except for a rush of effervescent currents in my brain when I go from 0 to 100 on the anger scale in under 10 seconds, I don’t recognize much emotion in the rest of my body. So I am proud and a little envious you are so in touch with your feelings, and can feel the currents in various parts of your throat and solar plexus…!

And the wisdom to know that you could intellectually try and figure out the answers, and it would give you some temporary relief, but having the discipline to stay with your emotions is priceless, I would think.

As they say, the only way out is through!

Stay with it, girl, feel your feelings, and see the frightened parts for the false prophets that they are. And do keep sharing, and keep us all motivated to do the same.

And thank you for sharing the video, I just added it to my favorites! And by the way, there is a book by a similar name, Zen Mind, Beginners Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. Also a great book, if you are a reader!

Love,

Shelley

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Shelley P.
KenJR
Posted 7 years ago

Hi all. I’m new to this forum. Have read The Mind of the Soul in 3 days and loved it. Will look into reading The Seat of the Soul soon. I understand the advice to avoid caretaking unless someone asks for advice. I am a leader of the “A Wholesome Inspirational Healthy and Joyous Life” team on the http://www.SparkPeople.com site and some feed back was that I preached too much about what people should do even though I believed that I was merely giving good information. Gary reminds us that we all are souls that need to grow and growth is best achieved from looking within one self and questioning ones own intentions, rather than blindly following another’s advice. I think it is fine to post information if one adds how the knowledge help themselves grow. That would not seem to be preaching. This is all a new experience to me though.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by KenJR. Reason: to get notice of replies
Doug Brown
Posted 7 years ago

I am feeling so much love and gratitude for you all. I am so reminded this morning how we are all together, connected in this journey. I see such a clear reflection of me in you.

Love Doug
Ami
Posted 6 years ago

Dear Shelley, Doug, Sundar, KenJR, and all the spiritual partners who are reading this post,

Thank you for being in this community, sharing your spirits by sharing or not sharing your posts.

Under this topic communication, I have been learning a lot of things about what my loving parts as well as my FPs (my fears) are and spiritual partnership support. There have being awakened so many different FPs and I have been overwhelmed and not been able to make the distance shorter. I could not decide and choose which one to start challenging.

Even though I have still intend to withdraw and have a distance, I would like to challenge these for openness in my heart to cultivate loving parts of my personality, by posting my reply. I see this is a blessed challenging opportunity for me.

I admire and respect each of your sharing comments and posting. Thank you for your courages.

I would like to share a video which gave me very valuable learning in my situation now and inspiration to challenge to have a sparkle of light to post under this topic communication.

Spiritual Partnership Support

And at last, I would like to share what I have come across some learning in my situation and karma, so far.

‘*Healthy choice or direction for me and Cultivating Loving parts* (not loving part, fear)’: ‘*Accepting that I am sincerely loved and trusted* (having distance, withdrawing, judging)’, ‘*Decision of implementation of/and stepping toward HARMONY and LOVE* (withdrawing and tendency to avoid and ignore the occurring in real situation)’, ‘*Acceptance of being different in opinions or in implementations or in interpretations* (being superior)’, ‘*Posting with loving intension* (withdrawing, having distance, keeping irritation with not be able to comprehend the situation and my own emotions, and not to be able to express them well, being afraid to be connected)’, ‘*Supporting soul school community members and sharing with them* (not be able to do it as I wish, powerlessness, losing control of situation and being lost in not harmonized situation and in emotion, not be abled to be supported and to support, powerlessness of inadequacy of making others inspired and happy, facing not easy for me to connect with people and facing its reality of not being able to connect with people, facing agony of disability of connecting emotionaly with people )’, *Reverence to individual independency and independent existence* (strong desire to control situations and own emotions, ‘*Forgiveness to what I did and understanding and compassion for myself* (judging others in the name of fairness or helping), and etc., etc..

Even though I do my best, because I am not a native English speaker, so I can not express well as I wish or as I can in my native language, and the expression or word uses are not adequate due to my limited vocabulary and good enough education in English language and not good enough grammar use. My intention of posting is, again, harmony and love only, so I hope you read it with patience and full of compassion for my language handicap. I will be very pleased to be suggested for better or adequate words, or be corrected grammar in my writing.

Thank you for being spiritual partners and soul mates!

gratitude and love,

Ami
Sundar Naga
Posted 6 years ago

Ami,

I really appreciate your courage to share your thoughts. Please continue to do so.

With love and trust,
Sundar Naga
Shelley P
Posted 6 years ago

Hi Ami,

Thank you for your post. If iam understanding this correctly, you have taken a very honest look at your self, you have taken an inventory of what you do,how you do it. This is courage in action. You have also identified what you could do instead. The app s powerful stuff indeed. Congratulations!

What language do you speak? Maybe someone in the community could support you on your native tongue. But keep posting. We will take the tome to decipher what you are saying!

Much love

Shelley
Sundar Naga
Posted 6 years ago

Ami,

Can you elaborate on what you are trying to convey regarding the list of your statements each between two asterisks and within parentheses? The statements between two asterisks appear to be loving parts and those within parentheses to be frightened parts. I assume those are the frightened parts that you are overwhelmed with now. Is that correct?

With love and trust,
Sundar Naga
Doug Brown
Posted 6 years ago

Ami,

It is great to connect with you and thank you for sharing. It is beautiful that you are becoming more aware of the splintered-ness of your personality. My frightened parts want me to believe I am fundamentally flawed and powerless to change anything. My loving parts are in love with the process and see this Earth School as a perfect place for me to grow and learn how to challenge the fear in me.

If you are open perhaps we can be spiritual partners with an intention to support one another to see when a frightened part of our personality might be active that in the moment we can’t see.

Have you downloaded the Authentic Power Guidelines (sometimes called the Spiritual Partnership Guidelines)? When I use them they have been a powerful tool to help me find that loving perspective.

With Love and Gratitude,

Doug
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