Thank you for your question, Soula! When I watched Gary and Linda speaking about spiritual partnership today, I felt that it would be supportive for Greg and me to watch a particular segment together, especially when they talk about a relationship being spiritual as long as the two partners commit to growing together. With Greg, I often feel that I am not growing spiritually, that I am responsible for not having a full spiritual relationship with him because I allow frightened parts of my personality to take over, specifically fps of comfort, of not wanting to “rock the boat.” Those fps want to remain unchallenged (of course, that’s what fps want…).

In watching this particular segment of the show with Greg today, my intention was to challenge those fps. I asked him if we could be more conscious about being in a spiritual partnership, which means to support each other in becoming aware of our fps and challenging them. This morning, Greg and I only had about 20 minutes together, 15 of which we spent watching Gary and Linda. So we actually had 5 minutes to talk at a heart level. We usually relate at a somewhat superficial level, where we are content a lot of the time and get into power struggles some of the time. There are areas of each other than we just don’t talk about habitually. For me, it’s because of the fp that desires comfort and refuses to be challenged. Today, I quickly described this fp to Greg and asked him for his support. This fp uses strategies to mask the pain of discomfort. I described some of the fp’s strategies, such as removing myself from the possibility of having an honest conversation, not asking what my or Greg’s intention may be when a loving part of my personality knows that it would be supportive to us both to ask.

In sum, my fp doesn’t want to create a spiritual partnership with Greg because it knows that it will be challenged! I feel we have made significant progress today.

Hi Joan, thanks for your post! Yes, I appreciate Gary clarifying what he means by spirituality. Practicing challenging frightened parts of my personality and nurturing loving parts has enriched my life in many ways, especially with relationships with my family members.

Gail, what a powerful experience you shared! It is striking to me how coming from love (setting your intention and challenging your fps) opened you to enjoying yourself and feeling truly comfortable. Love is so empowering, while fear brings feelings of powerlessness and disconnection. Thank you for the reminder.

And Soula, I want to thank you for sharing your experience of vulnerability, which encourages me to feel my own fps more fully. I particularly appreciate how feeling the intense pain lead you to detach from the fearful thoughts of loneliness, resentment, anger, and jealousy, and from the desire to please. That is powerful learning…

With love,
Catherine

Hi everyone,

In my gym class yesterday I was looking around at the people in the class. My thoughts were of judgement as to how everyone is in their own world, no one seems to be enjoying themselves, I feel alone…..then I became aware that I was feeling superior and judging! When I became aware of my thoughts as a familiar fp of my personality and not who I am a light went on inside me! I felt glad to be part of the class and to be in the class, I was really enjoying myself and felt grateful. It felt very real to feel alone and disconnected and painful. It felt very real to feel to feel connected and joyful and it felt very good. I choose the latter because I want to create a life of feeling more connected with myself and therefore with others, more gratitude and joy. I cannot do this alone and that is why I am here in this class, in this community!!

With love,
Soula.