I too had a friend that fear based parts of me temporarily pulled away from, because I felt she was “stuck” and not interested in growing. What I learned about myself from that experience was that she was mirroring frightened parts of my personality, that up until that point, I had not been open or willing to see in myself! The truth was I felt “stuck” (or frightened parts of me felt stuck) and I judged myself for not “changing” as fast as I felt I should….and projecting that onto my friend. Frightened parts of my were not accepting or appreicating myself ….and were not accepting or appreicating my friend either. I made a choice to see her and myself differently..from a loving perspective. I love the analogy of “rooms in my Mansion” …some rooms are loving that I want to cultivate, and some rooms are fear based, that I intend to challenge. I would love to hear other peoples experiences too.

by jealousy do you mean jealous of the fact that she found a relationship (love) and you have not? if so, I relate. My last relationship was 7 years ago. Since then I have been single but I often think of my ex-girlfriend. Lately, I think of her a lot more. Since we broke off she has since been married and divorced. She divorced 1 1/2 years ago. I become jealous when I imagine her on dates or being with someone else. This is a part of who I am. I am rarely if ever a thought on her ‘radar’ yet I am still jealous after 7 years. It’s hard because I am looking for love. Our love was not perfect but it is the only memory of it that I have. I really miss the feeling of being loved (and loving). But I think that is what this whole process is all about. That the ‘well’ of Love (Light) that we seek originates in us. that we are our own ‘fountain of youth (Love)’ but knowing that is just a small road sign. Living it is the hard part. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to not feel loved. Yet, i think there is something here for me to learn. in the end all that i can say is that you are not alone. I can relate deeply.

with much love, Eric

well, for me I have been healing from a sexual addiction (i.e. terror of intimacy) so I made choices that were not very loving (and some that were loving). for myself, I feel I created my situation but I don’t say that in judgement more like, “i did the best I could and living the results of the best I could (if that makes sense)” We are there (in my opinion). Imagine next month you meet the man of your dreams. A person you never thought existed. And you love each other profoundly (not romanticism) but a deep love. Would it be as sweet without the pain you are going through now? And if so, is it fair to look at your experience today as only pain? Today is as special as you chose to respond to it. but it’s still hard (at least for me it is)!

nice to share some thoughts with you.

love,
Eric

thanks Marilyn. the conversations help me too.

Hi Debby – So glad to meet someone else here. No, it is not easy. I am struggling with it today. I don’t think it’s supposed to be a struggle. I don’t want to be trying to align my personality with my soul merely in hopes of not feeling the pain of this “loving” thing. Does that make any sense to anybody? It’s as though I’m trying to heal myself so I won’t feel loss, which is a vicious circle. I’m probably putting my mind into it too much and not enough of my heart. Yesterday, I followed my intuition and purchased mega lottery tickets with the intention of giving a million to all my friends and family. (However, my secondary, or maybe primary intention was to keep at least half of it. Oh, but I would start an animal rescue.) I’m being silly here, really. But it’s just an example of the craziness. It’s like a good/bad, black/white puzzle I’m trying to put together, and it doesn’t fit yet.
I do hope you and my other friends here have a good day and progress on your journey. Thanks for your reply. 🙂

A few women here where I live will be getting together to read the Seat of the Soul. I’m looking for others’ input. My close friend asked to have this group and she and I talk about all different types of things. But yesterday she seemed on the defensive and I didn’t put my finger on that immediately but only that she was forceful in her opinion so I choose to (was that a withdrawal?)cut the phone conversation short by telling her I had to get lunch ready for my husband. This allowed that converstion to “cool down”, from my point of view. I called her back a couple of hours later and it was a much better conversation. I’m only on class 5 and the meditation seemed time for me to think about that conversation. Was what I saw in her “the defensive” really my own part? Well am I on the right track?

Hi – I have enjoyed reading everyone’s posts on this subject and must comment that I find relationship dynamics and experiences in general to be both challengng and rewarding. From what I can see from both Eric and Mary Beth, it appears that you two both challenged frightened parts of your personalities that may have wanted to respond to your friends from a fearful standpoint and chose to wait to do anything about each situation until you were clear about your intentions and how you wanted to respond. I feel that shows that you used the Spiritual Partnership Guidelines in a loving way and that this is what authentic power is all about!

I was once in the Authentic Power Program and the Expanded Program through the Seat of the Soul Institute and have valued the spiritual partnerships that I have made in these programs and the other public retreats that Gary and Linda give. I am happy that I can work on being spiritual partners with such wonderful people. However, I still find it difficult to broach the subject of spiritual partnership with my friends. For example, I have a friend at work who is going through a difficult time because she was assigned to work for an additional boss and she is overwhelmed. I have given her suggestions as to how she may be able to relieve the stress she is undergoing, but have not broached what is happening with her from a spiritual viewpoint. I don’t want to caretake her either. It has helped me to write this because I feel an answer may be coming to me about how I can talk to her using the Spiritual Partnership Guidelines. She knows that I go to these retreats and I think I may just talk to her about how I would talk to her about it if she was a spiritual buddy and see how she reacts/responds! I welcome any other suggestions/guidance!