Hi Kristen,

I also feel it is exciting to learn more about frightened parts of my personality. Which Authentic Power Guideline(s) to you feel is most supportive for you with this frightened part of your personality?

Love,
Sharon

Soula,

Thank you for sharing this. It has inspired me to reflect on some emotionally charged interactions I have been having with several different coworkers. I need to find that place of integrity and stand there.

Love Doug

Dear Kristen, Doug, Sharon, and Soula,

I had a fp come up in myself this morning as my overnight shift came to an end. My co-worker with whom I work closely overnight, has many challenges in her life with regard to supporting her large family on one income. I have given her some appliances and furniture that she badly needed and I felt that I could share without attachment to the outcome. I have been planning to share an extra bed that I have with my youngest daughter and her partner and my co-worker and daughter were going to share the use of a rented truck on a weekend in the near future so that they could come and get these things of which they are in need. When I spoke this morning to my co-worker about establishing a date to get together on this and move forward, she shared with me that garnishments have recently come up on her paycheck and that this will prevent her from being able to afford the rental vehicle before the end of July. She also shared that she was not sure that she would be able to keep herself and her family in the home that they have recently rented. I told her that I would go ahead and tell my daughter that she may want to rent the vehicle by herself at this time for the transportation of the bed. My co-worker went back to reading the morning paper but I noticed that she was having nasal drainage, and I thought that she may have become emotional with thoughts coming up from fear about her situation. I had strong fps that wanted to say consoling, care taking words to her, but I went on with my work. I have been reading, “The Heart of the Soul”, and last night I had read the chapter on Perfectionism and how every situation is perfect given the choices that individuals, and myself, have made. This is a situation in which I can refer myself to the Serenity Prayer and the exploration work that I did with it. I find it difficult to let go of attachment to the outcome for my co-worker and her family and to trust the Universe. Right now, I feel constriction in my heart area and a burning on the left side of my throat.

I am grateful, Soula, for your courage. I have recently had to use my courage in voicing things that I felt needed to be said to my nurse manager at work with regard to a policy of resident care that I feel may not be in the best interest for their health. It is one which seems to be, “set in stone”, by our physicians. I cannot change the policy, but I have drawn attention to some things that we may do to help to get a better outcome some of the time. I had fps come up with regard to an email that I sent to my manager, but when I came back to work the next night, I found that she had emailed me to ask me to continue doing what I had been implementing, and that she would advise other nurses within our unit to watch for opportunities to do this as well.

Love,
Cindy

I am having the opportunity to really feel fps that got triggered when I said what I needed to say to one of my adult children. I felt I was in my integrity in sharing with this daughter what I was noticing in her… a familiar fp that is very critical, abrupt and judgmental. One that has cost her work opportunities in the past. What surprised me was the pain I felt in my heart/chest, crushing constriction, and tightening in my throat when she responded in anger. My fps alarm started going off saying… “Look what you’ve done, she won’t trust or like you. You’ve damaged your relationship.” At the same time I knew clearly I would not have been in my integrity had I said nothing and ignored what I was sensing. What an opportunity to feel deeply fps that want to be liked and feel safe (not rock the boat).

With love… Cheryl

Soula,

Today I will have to share my intentions until I have another interaction with them. I feel I am out of my integrity to talk about one coworker to another. To share what I think other coworkers agendas or intentions are. I can’t change what others think, say, or do so criticizing them is just my bid for external power at their expense. In my interactions with all my coworkers my intention is to stay focused on what I think, say, or do.

In my interactions with those that I have been back stabbing I have tried to avoid a direct power struggle by listening to their complaints, at times comissurating, and leaving them with little clue where I really stand. I was not being in my integrity. My intention is to challenge my fear and simple share my thoughts and plans.

Love Doug

Soula,

This morning, I attended a “skills fair” at work after my overnight shift. I enjoyed interacting with others as I went around to the various stations where we reviewed nursing skills. I did catch myself in a fp that wanted attention. I wanted to say something “cute, or funny” when 3 or 4 of us were participating together. It was not something that would have been, “inappropriate, or wrong”, but I was able to recognize that I might want to stop myself. I am unable to say what I felt in my body at that moment, but I do know that it was coming from an attention seeking fp, because I had some difficulty with stopping myself from saying it, and that alerted me to the fact that it was a fp that wanted to engage the attention of others.

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking through a corridor outside of the unit where I work in long term care, and so I was passing through another unit. As I was coming upon the nurse’s station there, I noticed one of the residents having words with the medication aide who works that unit overnight. The resident was displaying fps of anger with her words. I stopped in the corridor, within view of the medication aide, and listened as the interaction went on and then was completed. The aide, then, came over to me and was telling me about the interaction. She had some fps of frustration which she voiced to me. There was not any action that I needed to take. I was able to be conscious with my choice of words, and to be in support of her without care-taking or making anyone wrong.

On my unit, I work with a nursing aide two weekends a month whom I have, in the past several months, had to pay attention to, to insure that certain aspects of her job are being fulfilled. She had fps that wanted to rebel, but more recently, it seems that we are able to work together better. I am continuing to work with myself with regard to coming from lps when I find it necessary to give instruction to others with regard to things which need to be corrected in the way that they are being completed, (or when they are not getting completed). I have had two times recently when fps were activated in me when I was interacting with staff. During both times, I believe that I did my best to choose words from lps. After one of the times, when something had come up at the end of my shift with my co-worker and she had left the unit for the day, I spoke from my fps and voiced frustration to the on-coming nurse. I new that I should not be doing that. I intend to continue working with myself so that I challenge those parts when they feel that they must, “vent”, frustration.

I have been working with myself throughout my days recently, to feel my emotional centers when I am feeling, “uptight”, and to relax and let go of this way of being that is so familiar. I feel the pain of tightness mostly in my solar plexus and down in the abdominal area lower than that. It can be in the middle of my chest area also. Working with myself to notice this and to let my body relax, is helping.

With my thoughts, in regard to these feelings, and at my workplace, I have been considering that the fp thinks that things must be a certain way, and done, “right”. I know that with regard to my nursing work that things do need to be completed in manner which will assist the health of the people whom I serve at my job, but I intend to work to get to the bottom of the fp, (understand it and feel the pain fully),so that when I communicate with others, I am able to do so from loving parts.

Thank you for asking me to share with you.

Love,
Cindy