Ame-Lia,

Thank you so much for sharing. Yes, it is a nice illustration of how acting from an fp causes pain in oneself and can cause pain in others concerned.

You wrote: “I want to work on being gentle with myself in this moment”. Yes, I think you should. I think it becomes easier to do so when we realize that it is the fp that is responsible for what happened, not really ourselves, and it is an fp that the soul decided to bring with us for us to work on. As simple as that and it is just a game we are expected to play well. In other words, separating ourselves from the fp’s that we are expected to work on and then addressing them the way we should kind of helps this process, I think.

However, the reason you wrote for working on being gentle with yourself in this moment, namely “because fp’s will continue a dialogue for weeks and months telling me over and over again that I messed up”, I am not clear about. I am not sure whether the messing up refers to the initial email you wrote to the colleague or to the second email, namely the apologetic email to her. The fp would be happy that you sent the first email poking fun of her. It would indeed feel sad that you messed it up by apologizing to her by allowing an lp control you instead. I assume you mean this latter one and not the former one. Yes, it would try to engage in dialogue for weeks and months telling you not to listen to the lp.

“What is the balance between owning up to fp’s and the consequences, and letting them go?” If I understand the question correctly, it is a subtle, delicate balance, I think. It is important to realize that the fp indeed messed it up with respect to the first email, causing pain in you and in the colleague. But, it is also important to be gentle with yourself. In that sense, I think, it is letting it go this time. However, it is very very important to keep saying to oneself not to repeat this during the next opportunity offered by the Universe. In that sense it is owning up to what the fp is capable of doing and making sure that it doesn’t repeat it the next time. Well, at the same time, we should also keep in mind that it is very difficult to control the fp that quickly. It is designed to be extremely powerful. So, it might happen again, but it is important to be gentle to ourselves again and keep saying not to repeat it in the next opportunity offered. Thereby the fp slowly loses its control and we slowly gain power over it, namely an authentic power. Thus, it is commitment that becomes essential here after the initial step of setting the intention to not allow the fp to show its ugly head. I know how extremely difficult it has been for me to not allow the fp of shouting in anger or the fp of feeling superior over anyone not logical enough to control me. The answer seems to be ‘be committed to it’.

With love and trust,
Sundar