Hi Eric, What I have found to be helpful especially in situations with my family, is to look at what’s going on as the trigger that activates my fp. When I can look at it from my soul’s perspective, I can usually see my fp more clearly for what it is – an attempt to keep me feeling powerless and inadequate. Accepting your brother “as he is” doesn’t mean that you stay engaged with his fp’s. Sunds like a wonderful opportunity for learning and growing. Blessings, Pam

Hello Sundar, In answer to your question, it sounded to me like Eric was not setting boundaries from a healthy part of his personality, and was conflicted as to how to do so. When he said that he had spoken to his brother and explained that he was using his courage to tell him how he felt, it sounded like a fp was trying to manipulate his brother’s fp into understanding and cooperating. What’s been helpful for me when a dispute comes up with someone I love, is to look at what it’s triggering in me instead of trying to fix it/create external power. As I grow myself, so many things look differently and are not the “problems” I wanted to call them before. I may have to address these situations in my life, as in deciding who or what I want to relate to, but the energy and intention changes from fear to love. With Love, Pam

Hi Eric,

I read your first post in this thread again this morning, but even more closely and carefully than the first time the other day, and then the other posts also.

Correct me if I am wrong: I think the fundamental assumption that seems to underlie your whole analysis of the situation is that there ought to be some or other fp being active in you with respect to your dealings with your brother. This thought of mine seems to be supported by your very last statement in the previous post: “Do you see an FP active in that sharing (I am asking with genuine interest)? I may have an FP active that I am completely oblivious to.” I can totally relate to your words, “with genuine interest”. With genuine interest, I want to share the following for your consideration as a possibility and to experiment with.

There can be no doubt at all, given Gary’s teachings, that one should always, every moment, be on the lookout for the possibility of some fp trying to become active in oneself. Whenever I read a post on this forum (I have not read many of them yet), I see that the reference often is to an fp being active, which is of course understandable. But, at the same time, I think, an important question that needs to be raised is: Is everything happening around a person at every moment explainable only in terms of an fp being active in that person? I don’t think Gary’s own answer to this question is a yes.

I am going to quote here what I wrote as my own notes quite a few years ago on p. 234 of the Seat of the Soul in the space under the title, (chapter) 16 TRUST, after I read that chapter quite a few times (at this moment I don’t have the time to reread the chapter and quote directly from the chapter with page references, sorry; I am busy preparing for my next-semester classes starting on Monday). “A soul incarnates NOT ONLY to heal and to balance its energy, to pay its karmic debts, BUT ALSO to contribute its specialness in specific ways to the needs of the Earth school, by entering into a sacred agreement with the Universe. All of your life experiences serve to awaken within you the memory of that contract and to prepare you to fulfill it.” In fact, logically speaking, I think, it is probably not correct to assume that it is all about only fp’s. There have to be LP’s also. It can only be a constant interaction between fp’s and LP’s.

Thus, it seems that it need not always be the case that a given person at a given moment should be dealing with his own fp only. It is equally possible that his sacred agreement with another demands that he should be using his LP in order to help, in some or other suitable way, the other person become aware of his fp, challenge it and change it into a corresponding LP. When we look at Life, the design does seem to be amazing. A person whose strong fp is to shout in anger is married to one, or has a sibling or a child, who has a strong LP that can silently teach the former not to be angry. A person whose strong LP is to be logical and analyze things carefully is married to one, or has a sibling or a child, whose strong fp is being illogical in dealing with day to day life. And so on and so forth. It is true that the law of attraction operates. But, I think, it is also true that the above kinds of pairings do take place on the basis of a sacred agreement between souls before their incarnation in the form of specific personalities in specific environments.

Thus, given your non-judgmental observations, your brother “has a lot of active FPs. The consequences of his FPs are that he often lies, will not keep commitments, act mean towards me, will isolate or ‘cling’.” Yet, very understandably, you “like to create closeness with him”. And, obviously, there are challenges in doing so. You “want to be close”, but you “don’t want him to be as he is. He constantly lies about things.” Yes, your feeling is very understandable.

And, “you just never say anything because you feel that that is not your place”. Well, we might have to stop there and think about it. Maybe the sacred agreement between your soul and his soul is such that it is your place to help him work through his fp’s and for him to come out a winner (in the sense of changing the fp’s to the LP’s). You are looking for support to help you see your FPs more clearly. Maybe that is not the issue here. Consider the other possibility above. The lesson for you to learn in this particular situation is probably not to challenge any of your fp’s, but to apply the strengths, the LP’s, that your soul brought with you in this lifetime. You have gone through a training in Gary’s teachings. I assume your brother has not. If so, you are probably required, using a lot of patience and necessary tact, to help him slowly understand the power of Gary’s teachings in regard to working through his fp’s. Of course, you have to make sure that your own important work is not put to risk due to his constant visits. But, whenever possible, I think, you yourself should invite him, fully knowing that his fp’s (such as lying, not keeping commitments, acting mean, isolating, etc.) are going to be active, but at the same time with a determination on your part that you would in some way or other help him through those. That is probably the courage you need in this context, which, I think, Gary refers to in the spiritual partnership guidelines. You should consider yourself your brother’s spiritual partner whether he can understand what it means or not.

From my personal experience, I can tell you that it requires a lot of patience. As I have indicated in my other posts, I used to be a person who would shout like anything in anger. My wife and my children have applied an incredible amount of patience in dealing with me. I don’t have enough words to thank them. In a similar way, I know it has required an incredible amount of patience on my part to slowly help my wife work through her fp.

When it comes to the interaction between the fp’s and the LP’s of people, it is always a challenge, I think, in any given context to know exactly whose fp is playing its role and whose LP is supposed to become active to help the other. In your situation, I am going by your own words in the first post, namely your non-judgmental observations indicate that your brothers fp’s seem to be active. If that is true, then I would assume that your role here is for you to apply your LP’s (especially given that you have cultivated them through Gary’s teachings).

I don’t know whether this is helpful. But, please consider it as a possibility and experiment with it. Sorry about the length of the post.

With love,
Sundar

Thank you Bob for sharing an inspiring example. I know very well that it is so easy to say that we should always act on our LP’s, but actually hard to do so. Your example is inspiring to me as you were so understanding of and considerate toward the condition of your granddaughter, listened to her as she yelled and sent loving thoughts.

“Souls, sacred agreements, nonphysical guides, cosmic and quantum field of infinite possibilities, can we ever know all that is going on and know what to do?” A great rhetoric question! That is why it seems we are asked to try our level best to act always on our LP’s and not on fp’s, and the Universe will take care of the rest. Thank you Universe!

With love,
Sundar