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Topic: Homework from Linda - rheaabramson Started 12 years, 2 months ago
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Posted 12 years ago
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Logged in this afternoon to report on the status of our homework from Linda to challenge the frightened parts of my personality that will change my life the most for the better. I accepted Linda’s challenged and decided to work on being present when others are speaking (not preparing replies, needing to be right or seeking admiration). It has been a challenge at work to stay true to this challenge as my frightened parts are so active but when I have been successful it has been really wonderful. I feel more connected to the process of what we are doing. I feel loving towards my co-workers versus angry. I am more open to noticing the things I am thankful for and the I can see the loving parts of my co-workers almost hovering around them. In one of my closest relationships when I paused to check my intention and really listen my friend was surprised at my way of being and our conversation was very loving. I still have a long road to go to being present more of the time but I am conscious of the work that needs to be done. I will be working this weekend in a situation that has a lot riding on it so I think this will be a very good time to practice. What have other people been noticing? |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Hi Rhea, your sharing supported me with clarity. When Linda asked us to be w/that question of what frightened parts of my personality when challenged, will change my life for the better, so many frightened parts became active. I became “confused” as to which one to start w/”first” and which frightened part would be “THE BEST ONE” to begin with. (So many stories to keep me distracted)! I resonate with being present (practicing emotional awareness). That is the challenge to all of the frightened parts of my personality….sometimes it takes courage for me to stay emotionally aware and feel the pain when a frightened part that feels impatience is active… which in turn cultivates an open heart, to listen to my partner and others (when frightened parts want to project that I already know what they will say). I appreciate your sharing. |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Hi Rhea and Gail, My experience has been to take a few days and really think about this question. I feel using my courage to say what I need to say from the most loving place even when I have a frightened part active will change my life for the better. This fp is familiar to me and something I will continue to challenge. When I challenge that fp that does not want to say what I need to in order to please I feel that fp loosing its power over me. What a joy. |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Hi — Thanks for the supportive postings! My frightened part that I feel would really change my life is also to be more present. It’s especially difficult for me to be present when I am by myself because I have an active imagination and can always think up some good daydream or scenario I would like to have become true (in reality). It was a beautiful day here today, so I took a one-hour bike ride by myself and really focused on being present. I believe I was more present and enjoyed my surroundings more than I normally would have. When I am alone, I sometimes will imagine that someone I care for is with me and what would I want to say to that person if he were with me. This helps to keep me present. I also know that being more aware of the physical sensations in my body would help me to stay more aware and will try to work on doing more scanning. If anyone has any helpful tips on remembering to scan (or any other suggestions on staying present), I welcome your ideas! Deb |
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Posted 12 years ago
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I also had an immediate response, “which frightened part. There are so many.” Realizing that this was frightened parts reacting I just sat with it for a few days aware and pondering the question. When I was ready, I sat in stillness and tried to imagine my life, what it might look like, really FEEL like without all the various frightened parts reacting automatically. I asked which frightened part would make the most difference in my life if it where not there? The part that KNOWS it’s unlovable was the answer. When I am connected and in the moment I FEEL I am loved. I FEEL I am worthy of Universal LOVE and the all that is LOVE. When I can sit with this and FEEL it, when that frightened part that knows it’s unlovable is surrounded in light like a warm blanket, all the other frightened parts are silenced. I choose to feel the love, to be love, and I am loved. So be it. The personality, the chatter in my head is a little quieter now. Gratitude and blessing to all. |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Thanks Patrice – I think this is the ticket for me right now- imagining what my life would be like if the FP’s were not active. Kind of like a creative visualization. I’m ready. |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Hello everyone, The frightened part of my personality that would most change my life for the better if I were able to challenge it more consistently is the frightened part that feels anxious. Sometimes the worried thoughts and the accompanying pain are so great they feel like ‘panic-attacks’. When these occur, my first reaction is to resist them causing even more pain. It’s such a familiar frightened part of my personality that I rarely notice in the moment that I’m making the choice to indulge worry yet again. I have been setting my intention to notice more during the day, especially at work when there seems to be so much to do (so many people to please…). If I catch myself doing this, I have been experimenting with keeping my heart wide open to myself and those around me. This has been helpful for me as I’m slowly starting to accept that frightened part for what it is and surrender to the process that’s unfolding for me. I’ve created this experience by consistently choosing not to Trust the universe and believe that I am somehow flawed if I can’t measure up to other people’s expectation, but I can heal that one thought at a time. Love, David |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Hi Everyone, Perfectionism, polishing is a frightened part of my personality that would most change my life for the better if I were to challenege it. An example came up during our last Journey Support Community call when I was in my small group during the time we had to support one another. Those familiar frightened parts were questioning what I noticed, wanted time to go over it, make it polished before I risked speaking, risked being wrong. I challenged those fears by speaking in the moment as best I could rather than polishing, by risking being wrong. I am experiencing excitement and curiosity … what will I learn, as I become willing to risk. In writing this, I am drawn to look at equality. Trying to do it right or perfect is about me (inferior, superior). Noticing and speaking from equality doesn’t need polishing. |
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