My intention is to share with the community a Frightened Part of my personality that is my intention to heal. Today I was able to experience progress with healing the FP of my personality that feels powerless. This morning I challenged a FP by going to the Dr. to rule out mrsa (flesh eating bacteria). I noticed I have been indulging a FP by not getting this checked out because the rash is on my rectal area. The physical exam today could not have done a better job at reminding me of the rectal sexual abuse I experienced as a child. This triggered deep tension throughout my entire body, pulling back of my energy, my solar plexus felt tight and I felt extremely nauseaus. I felt a panic. I put my focus on my body with the intention of healing this deep pain in me. I felt grateful for all the client’s I have supported over the years that have been sexually abused and the times I have supported them with these same triggers. My FP thoughts of powerlessness were the fear that I wouldn’t be okay, that I couldn’t handle the FP being triggered. The intention of the FP is to indulge the possibility of not being okay. The loving part I was able to cultivate is that I am always okay. The only part of me that could ever experience pain is my physical body and that is not who I am, so it is impossible for me to ever be hurt. I cultivated the story of Christ and Victor Frankel (Holocaust Survivor). I have been able to continue to feel this deep pain, something I used to dissociate, with the intention of healing it. I have been able to open my energy and connect with others rather than hold it back out of fear. This is progress for me.
Love,
Kristen Richardson