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Topic: Failed miserably yesterday - rheaabramson Started 11 years, 8 months ago
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Posted 12 years ago
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Failed miserably yesterday in my attempt to create authentic power. Set my intention for a presentation I had a work and by the end of the day I was worn down and tired and my boss asked me a question about a co-worker and I stopped feeling in my body and unleased a torrent of anger about this person. Once I was alone I could feel pain in my chest that was very intense and I feel terrible. I know all the reasons why the person I was speaking out triggers my frightened parts and I know the FP’s that are triggered and yet I wasn’t able to FEEL them and choose another path. Dissappointed all night long and still am as I relive the occurrence in my morning Journey time. I guess if I choose to act from a loving part of my personality I have to cut myself some slack and see the progress in being able to feel the FP’s after the fact and see the dimension behind feeling bad after – not only is there guilt but there is some insight. Going to try to look at this way, baby steps…baby choices….any insights are welcome. |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Hi Rhea, Thx for sharing. It’s nice to have more voices on the boards. Creating authentic power for me is a way of life that I have chosen because it resonates so deeply for me. I often feel like Gary Zukav is the author/creator of The Seat of the Soul but I am it’s ‘owner’. Which simply means his words awoke what already existed in me. The benefit of challenging my FPs is that over time the amount of painful consequences I create slowly diminish. I relate deeply to the FP that judges how well I did to create AP today but that in my opinion is an external power perspective…as if AP is something to be obtained. Basically I’d suggest that we can’t fail. Because even if I invest an entire week in rage the universe supports me as I will eventually experience the negative consequences of acting from my FP. And those consequences if I choose to feel them will provide me with yet another opportunity to respond with love. But for me the process is difficult as some FPs aren’t thrilled about being healed. However, I enjoy doing the work as the alternative is less fun. Thx again. Eric |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Thanks Eric on your comment about frightened parts that think that Authentic Power is something to be obtained. I also have f.p’s that lose sight of that and when I indulge them am not really present, instead focusing on when I think I can ‘get there’ and be saved from my pain. One of the most helpful things that Gary said to me at an event a couple of years ago is that Authentic Power is created in the moment. When I remember that I can start to relax a little and enjoy my life more. Rhea, that perspective has also helped me in the moment when I thought I ‘failed miserably’ when I discovered I had a reaction. I can choose to indulge that fear about the best now or choose to learn and create anew. Sounds like you’ve moved through that and are doing your best to make a loving choice. Finally, I want to say I appreciate to read both of your sharings and am looking forward to participating more on this forum and connecting with spiritual partners. David |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Eric and David thank you so much for your support. It never occurred to me that beating myself about failing was another frightened part. You are so right that feeling that and choosing to move next from a loving part of my personality is an option. I’m so glad that I am using this forum, it is really like being at the journey. I feel so supported and guided. Thank you both! |
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Posted 12 years ago
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thx Rhea again for your original share on this tread. I’ve been reflecting on the idea of ‘failure’ for me in my life and it is somewhat amazing to experience that it’s actually not possible. That failure is actually not possible for me or any other person on the planet. Varying degrees of consequences are open to all of us as a result of our intentions and actions but not failure. Experiencing that truth in my life is what it must mean to Trust the universe; to truly Trust it. anyhow, thx again. Eric |
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Posted 12 years ago
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I enjoyed reading the posts from Rea, Eric and David. I have been feeling “spiritually dry” over this past week. It helps to reconnect in this forum. You have reminded me to scan my energy centers and choose my intentions. Even though you have expressed various struggles, I thought, ‘but, you are still working the path!’ You may have blown it in the moment, but you are conscious that you blew it. I think being “conscious,’ being “aware” is the first step. Think of a child learning how to talk or how to walk. It doesn’t happen over night. Do we condemn the child for being so inept? Of course not. I think we should give ourselves the same grace. Each time we take a step and fall or say the wrong words, be grateful for the awareness instead of guilty. Forgive ourselves so we can forgive others their failures, and reset our intentions for round two or round ???. This is our Journey my beloved soul travelers! We’re workin it. Thanks for your posts! |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Thanks for sharing Rebecca. It’s good to stay connected with you here. With Love, David |
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Posted 12 years ago
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Thank you Rebecca for the reminder to be grateful when I become aware that my behavior is coming from a fp and the it is my responsibility in that moment to choose a healthier intention, to choose love. When I do that the other fp that feels shame dissolves further. |
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