While doing my morning spiritual practice…my work…I examined a statement “Eileen shouldn’t interrupt the meeting to ask questions”. When I dropped into that situation I felt deep pain in my solar plexus. Deep pain. I began to see very clearly that my response is from a frightened part. I try to stop the pain by getting angry at Eileen, judging her in my head, creating a wall between us. I saw this so clearly and I dropped into the pain, so I could really FEEL it. It’s been 7 months since I was at the Journey and it is just now that I was able to viscerally drop into pain and see what it was trying to teach me. Better late than never : ) Actually right on time. I understand now why I have chosen to lash out, because it lessens the pain in that moment. Kind of like taking a nap when I am exhausted. It alleviates things for a while. Going into the pain showed me that I can bear it. And when a situation like this arises, maybe tomorrow, I will try to stay with the pain. Granted many came up today, and I wasn’t slowed down enough to feel it. Because another FP was running the show today, the one who feels overwhelmed by having too much to do. I am truly looking fwd to being in a space to feel this pain again with awareness bc I think I can change a long held pattern.