As I write this, I am getting the opportunity to practice what I wrote about above in real-time. I just got back from a meeting where I was invited to participate with our parent company to help them write a proposal to win more business. The reason I was invited is because a colleague said that I could add some good insights and details to a particular part of the proposal. Soon after arriving at the meeting, it was clear that I didn’t have the knowledge or experience to add any significant input. I didn’t even know what they were talking about most of the time as they gave examples of another project that everyone else had participated in except me. As the meeting went on, I had frightened parts of my personality that felt inadequate and now that the meeting is over, I am still feeling it. I feel pressure in my chest and solar plexus and in my jaw. What I have been noticing is the feeling of being inadequate — translated — believing that I am inadequate. I am choosing to believe that although I may not have the skills/experience for this particular task, that I am not inadequate and that it’s only a frightened part of my personality that believes that. I am also going to do something different, and stop thinking of how I could prove to them that I am not inadequate (pursuing external power). I am going to continue to feel, release distance I have of the people in the meeting that I perceive as judging me, let the thoughts go and be present with what else I encounter throughout the day.

With Love,

David