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Topic: Cultivating Loving Parts. - Tim ILARIO Started 11 years ago

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Tim ILARIO
Posted 11 years ago

I had the intention to share on the board for a while but I’ve had many FPs active that stops me from sharing.
My share is about cultivating my LPs.
I had an incident with a supplier where I was inpatient because my FPs thought that the supplier wasn’t delivering/responding the way we needed.
I went to the supplier and expressed my concerns to the business owner.
He later called me back and was irate. He was very upset and went on screaming at me over the phone. His employees apparently had expressed to him that my employees had been unreasonable with them and that was why he was reacting this way with me.
While he was reacting from FPs and very upset over the phone I had FPs that wanted to react and scream back at him but I didn’t. I had thoughts like “how can he treat me like this, I’m the customer, he can’t treat me like that, etc.
I was able to challenge these FPs and listen to his frustration. I would listen to him for a while without interrupting and would ask him for a change to express what I could from my LPs.
He was in such FPs reaction that there was nothing I could at that moment but just listen and end the call. Finally we ended the call with lots of misunderstandings between us.
This was on a Friday so we both had the whole weekend to think about it.
While driving to work on Monday the though came to me (an intuition) to email or call him and apologize for my part in the whole situation since I had been impatient with him earlier on.
Before I had a chance to call him he called me and he thanked me for keeping the cool head while he had reacted from FPs on the phone call. I was able to apologize for my part.
The intention to share this is to cultivate my LPs that helped me not react from FPs while in the phone call.
In the past I would immediately react from FPs and would scream right back at him.
This is a very strong FPs that every time I challenge it loses its power over me.

Rosalind
Posted 11 years ago

Tim, what do you think are the fps that have stopped you from sharing?

With love, Rosalind
Cheryl
Posted 11 years ago

Hi Tim,

Congratulations on challenging your familiar frightened parts and posting! Your sharing reminds me of the “trapeze song” Linda and Gary often play at The Journey… about consciously letting go of the old and familiar ways (fear) and consciously reaching out for the new way of aligning
your personality with your soul by choosing sharing, cooperation, harmony and reverence for life. It requires courage, the courage I see in you using your will not to let your old frightened ways control you and instead cultivate presence, patience, compassion and self responsibility.

Brings back to me a time with my husband when I had familiar frightened parts active that didn’t want to hear what he saying (I’ve heard that story before, boring)and wanted to leave the room, which I had done often in the past. I recognized my fearful parts and decided to let go of their trapeze bar and reach for one that was the opposite… present, listening, interested, appreciative. That required use of my courage and will. I too experience the more I challenge my fearful parts, the more they lose their power over me. Thank you for this sharing Tim.
With love… Cheryl

Soula
Posted 11 years ago

Beautiful Cheryl. Thank you for sharing your insights about the “trapeze song” It resonates very much with me! When I become angry I go into fps of criticism and sarcasm either inwardly if I am feeling inferior or outwardly if I am feeling superior. My challenge to these is to choose to be present and listen with appreciation also. Like you said Tim, this cultivates these loving parts and the fps lose their power.

Love, Soula.
Kristen Richardson
Posted 11 years ago

Tim,
My intention is to further support you with cultivating loving parts of your personality. What did you notice feeling in your body after challenging your frightened parts of your personality both with the man and with sharing on the community board?
Love,
Kristen
Tim ILARIO
Posted 11 years ago

Hi Rosalind, thank you for asking and as you can see it took me a while to respond.
I think the same FPs that you asked me about stopped me from responding sooner.
The FPs are 1st that I will not be able to express myself and that I don’t have anything important to say. I also have FPs that procrastinates and thoughts that I don’t have time right now to do it right etc. I fell a tightness in my chest area when write about these FPs.
With Love, Tim.
Tim ILARIO
Posted 11 years ago

Hi Kristen, thank you for your support and as you can see it took me a while to respond your posting also. Both times when I challenged my FPs of my personality my heart area felt open and I felt close and connected both to the man and with this community.
With Love, Tim.

  • This reply was modified 10 years, 12 months ago by Tim ILARIO.
Tim ILARIO
Posted 11 years ago

Hi Cheryl, I want to thank you for your posting. It really supported me. I really love this:

“Your sharing reminds me of the “trapeze song” Linda and Gary often play at The Journey… about consciously letting go of the old and familiar ways (fear) and consciously reaching out for the new way of aligning your personality with your soul by choosing sharing, cooperation, harmony and reverence for life. It requires courage, the courage I see in you using your will not to let your old frightened ways control you and instead cultivate presence, patience, compassion and self responsibility.”
And your example also supports me. Again Thanks.
With Love, Tim.
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