Hi Everyone,

I had an interesting experience today.

A few days ago, my son, Quinn, found this plastic set of “vampire teeth” on a playground (What you might see kids wearing with costumes during Halloween.) Anyway, he was very excited to have found it and came home wearing them in his mouth. I completely reacted. I demanded that he take them out of his mouth and lectured him on how unsanitary it was for him to do that.

And, like many times when I overreact, I felt horrible afterwards. I went from feeling a hot rush of blood through my body to feeling completely shut down and heavy in the same hour. When the boys came back in from playing that same day, I sat down with Quinn and apologized for reacting. We talked a little bit, he and I shared that I want to support him when he’s excited about something. And I realized that even if I was technically “right” in the sense that he shouldn’t put yucky stuff in his mouth, there are a number of other scenarios that could have unfolded had I not been reacting out of fear. I could have felt my feelings and respectfully told him to please remove the teeth so that we could clean them up for him. No drama.

Today, this toy was sitting on the counter next to the dishes that needed washed. And again, I felt a fearful part come up about clutter, and I immediately wanted to throw them in the trash hoping Quinn wouldn’t notice. Instead, I caught myself this time. I realized I was in fear, felt my feelings in my body, and decided to go with what felt like love – which was to remind Quinn about his found toy and ask him if he was still interested, which he was. This interaction felt so exhilarating. I could feel such a presence and understanding and respect between us. It felt like reverence for life. I was revering what was important to Quinn rather than dismissing it.

To me this felt like an example of going from fear to love in a situation. And the consequences are a shared closeness rather than separation, a feeling of understanding. Sometimes it is so hard for me to notice myself in a mistake and have the courage to correct it. It’s so much easier for me to shut down and go into a place of hiding. And I want to continue practice modelling a better example of how to have compassion for myself when I mess up.

Wow..