Today I was on my way (5 hour drive) to my youngest daughter’s to stay with her two children while she was out of town for a few days. She called to say that another granddaughter who lived an hour from her didn’t have school on Friday and may be available to visit with us. I called and worked everything out and was so excited that I would be able to bond with three of my grandchildren this weekend without their parents. After I hung up the phone, I thought I would call my mom to tell her the good news. All of a sudden, I couldn’t breathe (fp), my chest and throat closed and I felt pain clear down to my sacral area. As I gasped for air (fp), I remembered that my mother died 7 years ago having Alzheimer’s and I had not had a conversation with her like I was planning for 13 years. The tears gushed out of me as I kept gasping for air. I was experiencing total grief (fp) just after experiencing deep love. While experiencing the depth of the pain, I remembered that I can still talk to my mother’s soul since it was only her soul’s personality and earth suit that had died. I am grateful to feel and hear the thoughts of this frightened part that is most likely so familiar that it has kept me from connecting as deeply as I can with my family. Love, Carol Ann