I have been sitting with the topic of Karma for about 2 weeks now and each week I understand it a bit more clearly for myself.

One of the questions that keeps showing results for me is How many times have you felt hurt and wanted to hurt the person you felt was responsible?

My first response was over all in my life or just this week? I am finding that over time since I have been working with the Spiritual Partnership Guidelines that I do not find this coming up very strongly any more, however when it does, it is still very painful.

As I pondered this question more, I had a realization that this still comes up for me when I feel jealous or betrayed. I notice that the moment that my FP’s feel this way the first thought that goes through my mind is that it wants to lash out at the person who triggered this in me and have them feel the same exact same intensity of emotional pain, and then pray that it doesn’t come back to me in the way exact that I experienced it and just projected it on to the other person so I didn’t have to experience my own emotional pain, learn the lesson for good or look more deeply for the gift that this situation can give me about learning about myself. When this happens, it is when I am not feeling loveable, and my self esteem is low and my Fp’s do this to raise itself back up .

One thing that I realized as I read the chapter and sat with my own experiences and understanding of Karma is that the balance does not have to take a lifetime, weeks or months to come back to me. I have been indulging a FP that won’t allow me to relax out of fear of waiting for the “other shoe to drop” as I had an attachment to the way that the Karmic balance would occur. The other thing that happens when I indulge this frightened part is that my FP’s try to manipulate and control my environment and the behavior of people in my life so that I don’t have to experience the Karmic balance in the exact way that I behaved and betrayed another person. This is something that has controlled me most of my life and recently I set the intention to heal this frightened part of my personality.

I realized that the opportunity to make a healthier and more loving choice comes right away and through multiple triggers. I have started to be open to the experiences looking differently than the way my FP wants them to look and as I do this, they are less painful, with the knowledge that I either created this now, or this is from something that occurred in a previous life.

The greatest Ah Ha for me is that I realized that when I choose to act from a loving place and challenge the FPs that come up, that I am changing my Karmic experiences and the intensity of which they come back to me, that If I don’t indulge a FP in the first place, there is no Karmic experience to balance out in this life time or another. Since I had this realization, I have felt a lot happier, and a little bit more relaxed.

• This topic was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Pamela M.
• This topic was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Pamela M.