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Topic: Challenging Need to Be Liked - Berta Started 11 years, 7 months ago

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
Berta
Posted 12 years ago

Although I’ve done quite a bit of work in this area of challenging the “need to be liked” which is in the same vein as “wanting to please” I still have many experiences that trigger this “need to be liked.” The Super of my complex was supposed to arrange for my heating to be fixed for the past week and it has not been done, and today he did not answer my calls when I called him about it. In the grand scheme of things I know this is not a big issue, because it’s not even winter yet, but it is a big issue in the sense that it triggers my “need to be liked.” When I assert my needs, although I am able to do it verbally, on the inside I feel like “I’m being too harsh or “bad” and that I will not be liked or that in some way I will suffer negative consequences for asserting myself. I feel these sensations in my throat and in my head. Writing about it just helped center me so I could feel the sensations in my body and listen to my intuition.
Joanne
Posted 12 years ago

Hi Berta,

This sounds very familiar to me as I also have a fp that wants to please.This fp for me wants to make sure everyone will like me and when this fp is active I feel it in my throat and solar plexus. I was wondering if you could explain what you mean when you say “When I assert my needs”?

Thanks for sharing, Love, Joanne
Soula
Posted 12 years ago

Hi Joanne and Berta,

I also resonate with the fp that wants to please. For me “asserting my needs” means striving to be in integrity. Recently i experienced that looking at my intention beneath doing that is important, however, it is not always clear whether it is love or fear. What guides me is the consequence of my action afterward. So next time i try setting a different intention the next time, and challenge fps that feel guilty. With Love, Soula.

Berta
Posted 12 years ago

Thank you Joanne and Berta for the support, and Joanne, thank you for the question… it got me thinking. On the surface, “asserting my needs” in this situation just feels like asserting my need to have a reasonable request taken care of, but digging deeper, it is asserting my need to be listened to and respected. And also as Soula mentioned I think about wanting to be in my integrity and that when I don’t assert my needs I’m not in my integrity, but as Soula also stated it’s difficult to tell sometimes if my intentions are coming from a loving place or a FP. Much Love to You Both, Berta
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

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