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Topic: Calling Leo and Nancy - Catherine Started 11 years, 5 months ago

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Catherine
Posted 11 years ago

Dear Leo and Nancy,
I so enjoyed connecting with you today, even though I couldn’t understand your words, Nancy, no matter how hard I tried, except when you confirmed that you would write what you said on the forum! I was very tempted to fall into a habitual pattern of frightened parts of my personality which wanted to caretake you (Nancy) in order to feel less uncomfortable when I learned that this was your first time on the APLC conference call. Those frightened parts were urging me to reassure you that all was fine, that this was just a glitch, that our calls are usually perfect. Instead, I set my intention as best I could to remain clear about our connection challenges, trusting that we would reconnect on the forum. And when I came here this evening, what a joy it was to find your loving message in response to the one I had posted a week ago or so.
I just mentioned the word “perfect,” and I would like to add that our challenging situation today was actually perfect, because it has brought us here, where we can continue our conversation in a thoughtful and loving way. I look forward to “hearing” you now!
Leo, I am thrilled that you were/are with us today and that you are planning to attend the Journey this summer. Are you also coming, Nancy?
To recap, I told you both that the most loving state which came to mind in response to Linda’s question is gratitude, when I feel open, when I experience everything in my environment as a gift, when it seems that no circumstance can precipitate me into a frightened state. And the most obvious frightened part of my personality is a perceived loss of control, as when I plan an event and something interferes with my idea of how this event should go. At such moments, I feel pain in my solar plexus and my chest, sometimes in my throat as well (with a desire to cry), and I find myself desperately trying to correct the situation. This happens to me very frequently. I know from the pain in my energy centers that it’s a strong frightened part of my personality. Sometimes I am able to challenge it successfully and return to a more loving state, and at other times I find it very difficult to challenge, but at least I remember that the best I can do at such a moment is to sit with the pain and be aware that I am having a reaction (no one is to blame, not even myself).
With love,
Catherine
Nancy
Posted 11 years ago

How wonderful to see this message! I am not real adept at chats and forums and the like, and could not figure out how to contact y’all. So glad you knew, Catherine.
My favorite state is the state of gratitude, as well. It just seems to work. I say thank you, thank you, thank you sooo many times most days. The big things are so outside of my control, I concentrate on the little things. Like having that spider on the bathroom floor leave me alone. Thank you! Seeing a cardinal in the bushes. Wow! Thanks! Having the rice come out perfectly. Nice! The big things would be other people’s personalities. I have terrible boundaries, so when someone else is transmitting discomfort, I tend to feel it. It takes a lot of energy for me to be with others. When I am out of energy, and can no longer be in a place of gratitude, kindness, or love… well, you can image, it probably doesn’t go well. I find myself spiraling downward when in physical pain, as well. Not every moment, thank goodness. Some part of me doesn’t believe I will ever heal, I enter a destructive mindset, and it takes a lot of energy to keep my own spirits up. I go kindof numb around others during these times, worried that if I don’t kindof shut down, I will lash out. Oh, My, how I would like to turn this thinking around!
I am really looking forward to finding some useful strategies from this seminar this summer, and from y’all, as well!
in peace, Nancy
Catherine
Posted 11 years ago

Nancy, In case you didn’t see it, Leo responded to my “help” post, on the more “public” forum. He might not have seen this one.
Thank you for sharing! I enjoyed your reference to the spider on the bathroom floor who leaves you alone, because it tells me that you (the loving parts of your personality) also leave him/her alone to accomplish his/her destiny. Gratitude is a shared feeling, we are all interconnected.
So are you saying that when you feel the frightened parts in other people, you withdraw into your own frightened parts? As far as I understand it, Authentic Power happens around others, challenging as it may be. For instance, I can feel gratitude when I am in front of a beautiful natural scene or when I read an inspiring book, but then I go to my computer and read an email that frightened parts of my personality interpret as judgmental or hostile, and down I go. Or when my husband comes home, we get into a power struggle. At such moments I don’t even remember the blessed state of gratitude I was in shortly before! It’s as though I had never experienced it. This is what I find most difficult, remaining in a loving part of my personality at all times. I am gradually learning not to act on frightened parts even when I feel them strongly.
Looking forward to meeting you this summer and sharing some more. Take care,
Catherine
Nancy
Posted 11 years ago

so… you’re saying (?): if we all did not have “frightened parts” of our personalities, we would be more loving towards each other. I further assume the work that is done with Gary and Linda is all towards the end of minimizing our Frightened Parts. How are you coming with your quest? Is it a minute by minute struggle? Catherine, does the Language “frightened parts of my personality” help you, more than other phrases you’ve heard over the years? It seems a very non-judgmental phrase. Just wondering how you feel about it’s usefulness, and what concepts it, sorta: replaced.
thanks so much!! Nancy
Catherine
Posted 11 years ago

Nancy, thanks for the questions and comments. As I understand it, we all have frightened parts of our personalities that, when activated and indulged, prevent us from being as loving as we are meant to be (the qualities of our soul). We can’t “get rid of” those parts of our personalities, but we can learn to be less and less under their control. Thank goodness, it’s not a minute by minute struggle! On the whole, my life is fulfilling and happy. The work I have done so far is to develop my awareness of frightened parts so that I can challenge them when they come up and allow the loving parts of my personality become active instead. I think that Gary coined the phrase “frightened parts of the personality” to help us not identify with them. Rather than say “I am angry,” I can say “there is a frightened part of my personality that feels anger.” This language helps me gain distance from that part of my personality, understand it, and challenge it without feeling guilty or self-judgmental about it. It’s very freeing. Over the years I have been able to grow in directions I couldn’t have foreseen.
Since you are coming to the Journey this summer, you will find that Gary and Linda explain this much more in depth and more clearly than I can here. It’s amazing how much I learn each time I go to an event, and I don’t mean necessarily learning with my mind, but in interacting with spiritual partners the concepts come to life.
Wishing you a beautiful day,
Catherine
Catherine
Posted 11 years ago

Watching my recording of the latest Super Soul Sunday program with Oprah this evening, during which she talked with Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, I was strongly reminded of Authentic Power. In so many ways, TNH’s message and that of Gary and Linda resonate with each other. The only difference that stands out for me is the extent to which Gary and Linda’s guidelines are detailed and practical, going into many aspects of our lives.
All day today I worked extensively with my hands (on the computer) and felt a little tired in the evening. As I noticed the tightness in my hands, I began to think about my age and the prospect that my hands would feel increasingly uncomfortable with time. Because I started thinking of a bleak future, of course I began to feel disheartened. At no point during this hour or so did I realize that I was under the grip of frightened parts of my personality. What I was observing felt natural, normal and necessary–i.e., this is the way my hands are going to gradually deteriorate with age, and there is nothing I can do about it except observe it, which is somewhat depressing.
Yet I was fortunate, because something this evening lead me to my DVR and to select the latest Super Soul Sunday show that I had recorded. What a blessing! In just a few seconds of watching this recorded show, I was given a new perspective on my life, and consequently on my hands. I saw so clearly that until then I had been under the grip of frightened parts of my personality. Thich Nhat Hanh is remarkably clear, just as Gary and Linda are. All it takes is listening to them in order to see what is happening with me.
Now that I have been given the opportunity to switch out of my fp perspective, I can see it more clearly. All it takes at first is awareness. If I work on my awareness, this will bring about the changes I want to see in the world, not just in myself.
With love,
Catherine

  • This reply was modified 11 years, 5 months ago by gregory.
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