I had a friend come over to help me get my snowtires into my car…so I could get them put on in the morning. I went out to the shed that is in my fenced backyard, only to find that all 4 of them have been stolen. I don’t know when…I immediatley felt so much pain in my heart…my reaction isn’t even so much anger, as hurt. I started to get into my head about it, and then part of me was saying..oh well..there is nothing that you can do about it other than accept it…so why waste all that emotion on it. Just go buy some new tires tomorrow….there was a few moments of pure acceptance of a situation that I can’t change…it felt okay, but it was so opposite to how I would have reacted in the past…I really couldn’t tell if this was from an authentic place or just a covered up fear place. I was doing fine until a friend called, and that left me with alot of heart pain about this. I think it has triggered all those feelings of feeling violated.. from my past.
I guess as I write this, my answers are becoming clearer. I need to feel the pain in my energy centers, and then I will better be able to come to a place of true acceptance. I feel pain that someone would do this to me, and anger that I have to go and spend hundreds of dollars for new tires…but at the same time, I feel compassion for whoever took them. I understand what it is like to do things from a fear place,so I still can have compassion for this person.
It also gave me a chance to be thankful that I do have the money that I can manage this expense at this time….
In everything that happens, there is always a gift to be found….sometimes it’s hard finding out what that gift is…..for me, I think the gift in this is not reacting in my old hateful ways, being able to have compassion for this person, being thankful for the money to replace them.
Judy