Dear Rosalind,

I could relate to your experience as I’ve gone through a similar one with a 95-year old aunt whose children moved her from her Boston apartment to an assisted living facility in New York three years ago. For perhaps two years, whenever I spoke to my aunt or saw her, she complained bitterly at having been forced to leave her home, although her new setting on the Hudson is simply beautiful. I too had frightened parts that felt attached to her being peaceful about the move and accepting this new stage in her life. I quickly realized I couldn’t do anything to control her pain. So I practiced being attentive and present, challenging my fps so I could enjoy the connection with her, talking from the most loving parts of my personality, and it seems that she eventually became more content and could enjoy our interactions. She and I have always been very close, and I’ve long admired her for her strength throughout her life. She never was the kind of person to complain, but the sudden loss of her environment, without her wanting this change, apparently sent her spinning. This is such a lesson to me, helping me see more clearly how to cultivate an acceptance of my circumstances, whatever they may be, whenever that may be.

I so relate to your statement of resisting what “is,” from the smallest, most “insignificant” incidents. I see in my own life how often I resist what “is” and make myself unhappy when I forget to challenge the frightened parts of my personality that want to prevent me from enjoying myself. When I release the attachment to things being different than they are right now, I feel content, grateful for my life.

I am also very grateful for the gift of your postings, Rosalind and Soula.

With love,
Catherine