Hi,

I’m trying my best to navigate a situation with my brother and constantly finding it difficult to identify for me what it means to act out of love and not fear towards myself and him.

My brother calls me every single day. The usual intent behind his call is that he is feeling lonely. About 3 years ago he got divorced and is still adjusting to living on his own. At first, I felt that the most loving way I could act towards him was to take his call & have him over. And this is what happened for a while. He’d come over, I’d cooked and then we’d watch some tv. I felt good about being ‘so loving’ but started noticing a lot of physical pain; stomach, neck, chest. I could feel the resentment building. I felt like I was simply babysitting him. This continued for some while but a larger FP was terrified of saying something. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. So, I acted from an FP and started ignoring his calls or making up excuses about not being able to get together.

Now, I can’t hide any longer. I must have a talk with him and going through the SP guidelines. The main issue here is what can I learn about myself? How can I grow from this?

He is not doing anything ‘wrong.’ He is doing what he feels is best for him to be doing. However, I am not sure what I am to say. I want to say;

“I feel angry when you call me everyday. I am not angry towards you but rather it is my anger. I feel that way because I feel like I will have to have you over or get together. I feel trapped. If I don’t want to get together I feel guilty. I want to create a relationship but not like the one we have been having.’

I am really open to any thoughts. Is this creating authentic power? Sometimes I feel like authentic power is loving everything at it is meaning that I should just let him come over every night and learn to accept it but another part of me feels that that can’t be it because I would not be honest about how I feel.

thx in advance.

much love,
Eric